Old Friend
by Varity Sinning
Summary: Lily finds her diary from her Hogwarts years. Foolhardy she tries to reconcile her past with her present & future. Rated- M for Adult content. Character death, domestic violence, & swearing./You have spoken, I will continue the story. Stay Tuned...
1. Chapter 1 Pt 1

**-I do not own any characters from the Harry Potter book series. JKR does. You rock Jo. The story is for fun, not profit...Thank You, Jo. Hope you all enjoy the story.-**

**Old Friend  
**

**My Old Friend Part 1  
**

"NO!" Her scream jolted her from sleep. The smell of cold winter drifted in from her open window. She struggled out of the warm cocoon and slid her feet out of bed. _Only dreaming._ That knowledge didn't help shake the horrible dream she had. "Wedding planning jitters." Laughing to herself, hoping to regain the peaceful austere quality of the winter night. Ever since she left Hogwarts, winter nights had not felt the same. Leaving the windows open a crack seemed to help. The sounds of the house comfortably settling around her and the loneliness of being so far from James made her uneasy. "Bad job." Lily knew she shouldn't dwell on it, but her Mum and Da weren't with her now to talk to. She didn't have anyone to talk to, "Tuney might as well be gone for all that she'd listen." Shocked at the words coming from her mouth she shuffled over to Da's old writing desk.

In the deep pocket drawer sat a small moleskin diary given to her a lifetime ago, at least it seemed that way. Switching on the light, and looking fondly at the treasure she had confided so much to. Before the wedding she knew she must throw it in the bin, _but how could she?_ Lily sighed. "So, many questions left unanswered, ideas that never saw fruit, so many memories." Pressing her eyes shut, she brought the book to her nose and relaxed into her scent memory. Relishing it with her eyes still shut she fanned the pages with her thumb. Tears came to her eyes. "I can't do it." Weeping into the porous surface.

Hoping for inspiration she opened the book to a relatively random page. After all she had filled the entire book and knew whereabouts she would land.

**~*~**

**Dated 4, June**

It's miserable day despite the sun and laughing people. Why don't they all sod off! Couldn't have imagined myself so sad and angry before today. Yesterday, well diary I expect you'll know all about that. Now I got people coming at me from every direction offering advice and giving condolence. I DON'T NEED YOUR DAMN ADVICE OR CONDOLENCE! Don't know what Alice was about when she took to making up stuff to create distance between us...I mean, really! DAMN YOU ALICE. DAMN YOU AND FRANK FOR TRYING TO BE MY BLOODY BODY GUARDS! I don't need body guards or any such thing. I need something, my head hurts. Madam Pomfrey would have something but that would only be temporary.

Had his jealousy gotten so bad...I don't even want to think about it. DAMN YOU, TOO! I can't think, stupid boys. Well, one way or another they will both regret it. By Merlin, they will both pay!

Think I'll lay down for awhile. Maybe twenty odd years or more. I'll be Rip Van Evans. Except I don't fancy the beard or six feet of leg hair either.

Thank You Diary, you're my one true friend.

**~*~**

Lily adjusted her seated position. "They will pay, eh? Well, don't know so much about that. James is likely going to pay if doesn't start participating in the preparations for the big day." She thought morosely that she might resort to concocting a potion to motivate him and stop his pawing at her every time they're in public. As for Snivillus, he had gotten his when she saw the look on his face the last time the where together in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady. "So much time, such a waste."

Her mind ran down long dark tunnels of; How? What? Topped off with empty questions all without answers. None that she could see at least.

Instinctively she knew what filled the pages following that one. So, she flipped back a good distance.

**~*~**

**Dated 28, February**

Sev has not been the same. Very strange. Today Diary if you can believe it, Sev wanted to have a private word. maybe that's not so odd. When those jackasses came over to us, harassing me and teasing Sev he told them to "shove off." I would have given anything to have a photo of it. Malfoy was livid. Just thinking about it bring tears of joy to my eyes. Sev, seemed so powerful, so commanding. You know Diary he might be building some confidence. Some others sitting a short distance way cheered Sev on! Sev had a pink blush! On my honour, I swear! But Diary the burning question is: Does Sev like me? Really like me! I'm in agony. He's so intelligent, I think his mind is brilliant. And he's become such a natty dresser. Sure he says stuff, but it's all cryptic and confused. Oh sure he means everything he says but bless him. Why doesn't he say what he means? He doesn't like me hanging around James and them, but I always thought it was because he and James don't get on. Never have and likely never will.

Dropped the thread of my story...so he faces me on the bench and looks at me very seriously, and the first words out of his mouth were "About James..." I cut him off right there, honestly! That wasn't what I wanted to talk about. Seriously though, I would have much rather talked about meeting up on Easter Vacation, or discussed Potions, or even the sink in the water closet for that matter. ANYTHING BUT LISTEN TO OR TAKE PART IN ANOTHER PISSING CONTEST! My potion is bubbling over. Got to run, love ya Diary.

**~*~**

Lily smiled with chagrin. The cold air from the window brought that day and time into too sharp a focus. "Does Sev like me?" she said in a self-mocking tone. _How could I consider the possibility?_ Unwilled her mind meandered into long forgotten passages and plumbed the interminable abyss of her sleep-deprived mind. Her head spun with memories and suspicions and loss. She muttered, "as good a friend as you were Diary, you never gave me any answers."

Having to create some distance from the past, she padded down the stairs in search of solace. She was sure she couldn't have gone back to bed if a pack of Dementors drug her there. She decided instead to have a cup of coffee with a heavy tot of whisky and send some correspondence.

The smell of the hot coffee wafted through the room and its strong dark flavours mingled on her tongue. The lateness of the night and giddy reckless feeling that the coffee had blessed her with, she decided to write to Severus as well. What might have been a plain "oi, hope you've changed your allegiance." Instead the letter deteriorated into; "You are a GIT! Can't believe you were so BRILLIANT AT POTIONS AND SCHOOL but you couldn't fit two sentences together so a girl might understand them. Oh, yeah...did I remember to tell you, You're a GIT!"

She equipped herself with a more whisky and a tot of coffee, then continued. "You know I...can't believe I'm telling you this but...I ACTUALLY LIKED YOU, YOU STUPID GIT. CAN'T BELIEVE I WANTED TO GET CLOSE TO YOU. I MUST HAVE BEEN AS STUPID AS YOU, YOU GIT!" The anger helped to focus her attention. The third glass comprised entirely of whisky was responsible for opening her diary, and dumping it all over the letter.

There was so much anger in the letter that it never occurred to her, the level of embarrassment that might be achieved if she actually sent the letter. But of course she would send the letter. "Think you'll get off with a hang-dog expression? Well, I don't think so." She tapped the letter with her wand, sealing it, and sent it off with her trusted owl Breide. Nursing the remaining glass of whisky, she stewed in her own juices until she fell asleep on the sofa.

Nudged from sleep by the insistent chill and pecking of sleet against the window she struggled from the sofa, closed the window and lit a fire. The brilliant white coming in from the kitchen window shot bullets of pain through her head. "Omelet! I need food." Her stomach lurched slightly, and she change tactics settling on toast. The pain reverberating in her abused skull delayed her hearing Breide at the window. As soon as she realized her beautiful dun owl was there she rushed over to let her in. Breide flew over to her toast, snatching a slice and landed gracefully on top of the refrigerator.

Lily stood, hands on hips thinking maybe she would have been better off without such a smart owl. "Oh you." The owl clearly had a letter but Lily knew if she tried to get it before the owl was done, she have her hand pecked off. Lily watched the owl with intense curiosity and was half-tempted to put a body binding curse on the beast. However, she resolved to watch while the remainder of her own breakfast sat forgotten. Once the bird gobbled her erstwhile toast she consented to deliver the letter. Holding the letter tightly in her nervous hands, she could only wonder if the Deatheater in question was going to "rain hell" down upon her. Nerves getting the better of her, she opened the letter tearing it haste.

AN/ I chopped this chapter into segments to make it easier to read online.


	2. Chapter 1 Pt 2

**-=As in Chapter one, part one- I own nothing.=-**

**Old Friend**

**Chapter One Pt. 2**

**

* * *

  
**

~*~

Evans,

You think so? Say it to my face.

Signed,

SS

Post Script:

Muggle Pub on Wickam Wind, tonight 8p.m. Come alone. I will be unarmed.

~*~

* * *

"Well, I wasn't expecting that." Pondering the meeting a Deatheater in a Muggle pub of all things. Alone, with him? Surely, someone should know her whereabouts. "Can't tell James though, he'd flip. Then he would tell me not to go, then he'd start inquiring into the whole affair, then he'd go after Severus. That won't do." So she did the only sensible thing she could think up, call Tuney.

The line buzzed as the connection was made. She'd really have to replace that old telephone. "Mrs. Petunia Dursley speaking."

"Ah, Tuney, it's me. How are you?" Silence met her greeting. "Ok. Well, I have a very small favour to ask you, sweetest sister of mine."

"Don't talk nonsense, I'm your only sister. Get to the point I don't really have all day." Petunia spat back.

More silence. "I'm doing something tonight and I would like you to call me this evening, around ten or eleven to make sure I got in okay. Oh, please Tuney, say something." She was giddy with nervousness.

"Don't call me that." Petunia harrumphed on the line in the pause. "Can't that Potter call you?"

"Well, that's the thing, see uh...James uh...wouldn't approve." She said hurriedly. "Please I'm begging you just a call that's all, please." Lily knew Petunia would be twisted up with curiosity enough to call, but she would huff about it a bit in the interim.

"All right. Fine, just a call. I'm not driving out to get you, if you've gotten yourself lost." Petunia said grudgingly.

"Oh, thank you Sis. I love you, thanks a bunch." The dial tone met her last syllable. "That's taken care of." She was deeply relieved, and started at once to keep busy up until it was time to leave.

She shovelled the drive and walk without magic, hoping the labour would help distract her from her impending interview with Severus. Around midday her stomach announced loudly that she'd not eaten. Giving in humbly, she ate a hearty meal. She might have settled for the other slice of marmalade toast, had it still been there. She finished cleaning the house that her parents left her. By the time she put away the last of her clothes it was past supper and nearly time to leave. Deciding on distinctly muggle attire, she donned American style denim jeans and a simple top under a magically warm wool short coat. Remembering just in time to grab some pounds before she apparated to the little pub.

The sucking pull from apparating changed to freezing gusts as her feet touched solid ground. Lily wandered from around the side, frightening a cat as she casually entered the pub. She stood in place giving her eyes time to adjust to the dark interior. Lily looked around and froze. She saw the smooth curve of his black glossy hair. _What in hell was she doing here, she was meeting with a known Deatheater? This was madness!_ Before she could turned to go, he turned in her direction. Lily summoned up her inner Gryffindor and walked toward him on shaky legs.

Snape looked completely at his ease. Slightly overdressed under the trench coat. _Had he been waiting long?_ Lily wondered. On the small table was the fat letter filled with all the diatribes she had hurled at him.

"No black roses?" Snape solemnly inquired. Seeing her surprise, he continued. "Old muggle custom, the victim would receive black roses from his killer." Nonchalant as ever. "You did say," gesturing at the letter. "You deserve to die a dozen deaths." Smiling with just a hint of smugness.

"Fine, here are your bloody roses." She reached into her coat conjuring twelve black roses, setting them neatly on the table next to his untouched drinks. She took off her coat, and took the chair opposite Snape.

He fingered the petals gently, and inhaled their delicate scent. "What would you have?" Superseding Snapes' attention, she turned in her chair. "Barkeep, I'll have what the gentleman is having." The man at the bar gave her a doubtful look but got the drinks all the same. Lily turned back to Snape, and delivered him a sneer. She looked at his untouched drinks, one small shot of a crystal clear liquid and the other was a pint of very dark stout. _Strange, this was an excellent metaphor for the man who had ordered them. Neat, clear and at the same time dark and smooth._

The barkeep set down her drinks, "Everclear and a pint for the lady." Lily sat agog, she probably should have found out what he was having first. _This was not good._

Snape smugly clinked her shot with his, "to renewed friendship." He said giving her a crooked smile. She only grunted "cheers." They downed their shots. At first she coughed and sputtered, then felt relief when it was over. And secretly grateful for the alcohol's calming influence. Her inner voice that was holding onto the sense of caution was now shivering with abandon, which left her feeling confused. As if waking from a dream, turned horribly to a nightmare.

While Lily was trying to figure out what she had been about coming here, Snape touched her hand to get her attention. Cascading prickles swarmed her body. They had never really made physical contact, except the once when she touched his hands in a moment of excitement. To her shock Severus' face took on the colour of a beet, then changed to a sickly green. Lily had recognized his discomfort and let go. "Two sentences? I believe, I have two to "rub together."" Recalling her to the ungodly letter that had brought her here. She took a sip of her stout and almost choked on it when he said boldly, "Lily Evans, I love you. I always have." Completely cross she mopped the beer from her top.

Lily retorted, "Yeah well, it's been bizarre," grabbed her coat and turned to pay the barkeeper and leave. Cantering drunkenly from both shock and drink, she left. As soon as she had gotten two steps beyond the door, Snape forcibly stopped her.

"I have just put an anti-disapparation charm on you." He whispered in her ear. Her head whipped around so fast that her shoulder-length hair grazed Snape's face, leaving him with a sort of dreamy look. Lily had never seen that look before, it arrested her desire to go.

"What happened to "I will be unarmed."?" Delight suffused the austere face removing all trace of mocking arrogance. He failed to respond to the question. Severus cupped her elbow in one hand and placed his other on her upper arm. They walked down the side-walk in the cold. To all appearances they were a couple out for a stroll. Lily was in distress looking quite a lot like a mad cat. "You will pay for this Mr. Snape."

This use of his surname revived Severus' dry frank tone. "I expect, I will pay dearly for a great many things. But for now I have you bodily." His own amusement revived betraying him, and he snorted his laughter.

"Ha! You're a snorter!" This might not have been so funny except she was drunk and he was not usually willing to be taunted.

"Have your little joke. It is certainly no worse than what YOU and that gang of hounds put me through." Silkily as he said it, there was an air of accusation.

"No, thaz not right." She turned to Snape poking him unsteadily in the chest. "I didn't do anything to you," regaining her indignant position. "Maybe I should have. Maybe I should have pulled your underpants down and exposed your bum to everyone."

Unbothered by her words he continued on his coarse. Severus found, she was easy to manoeuvre in her current state of inebriation. Pressing her into a building and holding her wrists, he leaned down into the hollow of her neck; delivering kisses. His deep breathes mingled with, "Lily I love you. I love you so much. Ever since we first spoke. You are the only one to see me for what I was; someone who mattered, someone who was more than a sum of talents. Someone to be trustworthy, you put your trust in me." Letting go of her wrists, he barely touched her face with his fingertips which smothered her resistance. Snape then wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled into her, apologizing desperately. "I'm so sorry." Repeating over and over in desperation, that she might understand. She brushed his hair back from her face. The touch spurred his desperate pleading. "I would do anything...anything you want."

An incongruous sound broke through the night. Lily extricated herself from Severus, reached into her pocket, pulling out a television remote. She had bewitched it so that she could receive phone calls on it. "Petunia, thanks for calling, I appreciate it...No everything's fine...All is well, yes, well...how about I call you tomorrow. I've had a bit to drink and I'm just about to go to bed...Tuney" Lily was feeling uncomfortable talking into her remote control on the side-walk "I promise I'll tell you all the gory details, okay. I love you, good night." She put away the remote. Lily felt emotionally drained from the whole affair. So much so that she leaned her back against the wall and slid down its length inches from the wet snow. The lies, deceit and her own confused feelings. Sheltering her head between her knees, the overwhelming feeling of hopelessness crashed over her, drowning her concentration.

**AN/ Hang around there's more where that came from. Special Thanks to David boreanaz's wife247, and Notwritten!**


	3. Chapter 1 Pt 3

-=I will never claim to be mistress over the HP-dominion, Jo is and she gave us so much to work with. Snape's character is worth twice his paltry weight in fics.=-

**Old Friend**

**Chapter one Part 3**

Snape mastered his emotion. Summoning his strength he pulled Lily to her feet, picked her up in his arms and carried her a short distance to an alley. "Lily I want you to be comfortable, let's get out of the cold. Hold on to my neck." As soon as she embraced Snape they disapparated arriving at the house on Spinner's End.

Inside the house warm with fire and small sitting room. Lily was sobering up mostly due to the apparition. In her appraisal of the room she noticed there was only a small sofa and a low table with a lamp. It would have been spartan, but for the bookcases lining the walls. Snape took her coat and removed his own to two small hooks on the wall. Snape relaxed soundlessly on the small sofa. Lily took a spot on the hearth rug. The silence was palpable in the small space. Snape extracted the bouquet from inside his charcoal grey cable-knit sweater, which he then removed. Resettled on the old sofa he tenderly brushed its soft fragrant petals against his nose. Snape was the first to break the silence, "will you kill me now or later?" His tone was casual not betraying any hint of sarcasm.

Angry Lily stood up and wildly gestured. "What? Do you think this is some kind of joke? Or do you think I couldn't kill you, is that it?" In rage she snatched the bouquet of roses from him and lashed him with them, leaving small cuts on the exposed skin. "Don't you dare...you have no right..."say it to my face."...Say it to my face...well, I'll say it to your face...YOU ARE A GIT...AN ASS...A FOOL but so was I for not seeing that sooner." While she was still flogging him with the roses, bits of petals and leaves drifted to the floor. Lily switched her hold to the other hand. Hitting him seemed to satisfy her in a way that magic could not. Severus ripped his shirt-front open welcoming a stippling of tiny cuts from the thorns. At this she stopped and looked, his chest almost entirely scared. Lily touched the largest patch of criss-crossed cuts, _they were recent._ Laying her palm flat against his heart feeling the texture of the wounds.

Not wanting pity he lay his hand on hers and met her eyes. "Penance. I learned about penance early on." She tried to move her hand but Snape held it fast. "There is one for each day your forgiveness has been denied me...And" he asserted. "I deserve every one." She obviously was about to say something but he forestalled her. "I deserve worse. I would cut my heart out and give it to you, because without you I have no need for it. It is no more than one more source of pain, and an everlasting reminder of what I've done." Lily pulled away turned her back on him and walked to the mantle laying her face against a white onyx carriage clock. She had her own scars from pain remembered and relived.

Snape picked the letter out of his pocket and read, "...I actually liked you, you stupid git, can't believe I wanted to get close to you, I must have been as stupid as you, you git..." His recitation was dispassionate. "Did you mean it, what you wrote? "

Still not facing him she nodded her head in accent. He stood and moved behind Lily, wrapping his arms around her. "I'm close now, and you were right. I am a stupid git, plain and simple." They were beautiful standing near the fire; bright and dark, elegant and austere. Both wearing identical expressions of anguish. Pain radiated from very fibre of their limbs.

Lily turned to look into his eyes, something she had mostly avoided doing thus far. She turned to face him, so close their noses brushed. She was able to see in his eyes for a moment, before he closed them and kissed her supple lips. She had seen all she had needed to see.

Once the spell was broke he cradled her in his arms then carried her through a door disguised as a bookcase and up a flight of stairs. Snape laid Lily on the sturdy plain dark wood bed. As he curled up next to her, she stared at the scars covering his chest and arms. They were all shapes and sizes and depths. He was not ashamed of his self-mutilation, only of his actions. Mesmerized, Lily traced the marks with her index finger. "I must insist that you stop cutting yourself."

Severus returned her kind look, and shook his head. "You don't understand. I think like an Old World man, thus I have ideas that might conflict with modern views. You could say too that I have not earned your forgiveness. If I have earned your forgiveness, this will cease." He touched Lily's hand as it rested on the new cuts from the thorns. "Don't worry about those, they are nothing. You left your mark on me long ago." Snape hovered over her, supporting himself on hands and knees. His hair tickled pin picks at the outer edge of her face, she smiled at the strange sensation they produced. Snape closed his eyes, and his face twitched slightly as she playfully ran her hands down his side and across his back. Upon reopening them, he was met with her look of horrified shock. She jerked up pushing him aside, clumsily she climbed across the bed and inspected his back. Deep furrows striped his back, some were alarmingly ragged.

"You have to stop this madness!" Shouted Lily, trying to resist sobbing, "you have to. I'm telling you to." Her emotion ebbed revealing a rictus of pain and tears. "You must!" she sobbed.

Severus never wanted Lily to cry, to feel pain especially over his remorse. "Lily, my only love, please don't cry. I don't want to cause you pain. Please forget those. Try to understand, they are simply a physical representation of the pain in my consciousness."

Despite covering her mouth with her hand her words were still audible, "you didn't even try to heal them with magic." Her anger was surfacing, "if you need some great quest that no mere mortal man can stand up to; go to the damn store and by me the biggest box of tampons they have!"

"I desire nothing more than your loving acceptance of me and that we both might heal. I do not want your pity. I don't know if I'll ever been good enough, but I want to try." Snape brushed his lips against hers leaving tiny kisses around her face. Severus moved closer to her, chests pressed tightly together.

He didn't seem to progress beyond the casual caressing. It donned on Lily that he wouldn't take it any further. Anything more would have to come from her. She reached down and unfastened his belt and unbuttoned his trousers. She ran trembling fingers up his belly and seized his waist pulling him closer. Ripples of panic flooded her senses as she imagined the disastrous coarse she was barrelling toward. Finding that her hands denied her what she'd yearned for deeply, she grew frustrated. Need compelled her to wrap arms and legs around her hearts' desire, clenching him to her. Speechless, and impotent she was in agony. Lily wanted him, truly possess all that her heart had burned for all of these years. "Can't you see that I am a 'burning woman,' give me what you should have years ago."

A relieved sigh escaped Severus' lips. "Give you what I never had motions to put to. I will but first I give you words, words I never had master of. I was a fool Lily, I was a jealous fool. Your heart is sweet and your love is strong and I want both." He spoke slowly and deliberately. He sat back up and reached for his wand on the side table. Placing the wand on her chest, sliding it all the way down her body making her clothes vanish. Lily was so amazed at the trick that she failed to feel embarrassed or realize that Snape was likewise undressed. A fact that suspended her normal thought process. The beautifully made, terribly scarred Severus Snape straddled Lily's legs. He dark eyes reflected a life-time of love and tenderness. He met her lips with sweet tenderness. Unseen he waved his wand creating a burst of red flower petals to flow through the room caressing and tickling them as he made love to her. Very slowly in the beginning, his passion was on a short leash. Their exchanges became more intense and Snape opened the flood-gate. Probing the depths of her fleshy flower. Nibbling on her silky expanse of skin, boring into her core. Effecting such a sustained gentle orgasmic hum, she had never felt so completely gratified.

With great fervour she turned the tables on Snape, enveloping his firm masculinity. Stroking his long lean limbs, licking and teasing and taking him inside as though she could will him there always. His wand though not in his hand sparked as he climaxed. So exhausted from love making she tumbled onto the bed into Sev's waiting arms. He drew the soft cotton sheets over their nakedness.

"You have drug me from the pit of hell," They cuddled closer into one another. "I feel alive. I want to be with you, prove my loyalty to you and my fidelity. Lily I want to make you mine."

"My world has been turned upside-down, I need to turn it to rights. Don't know how I'll manage to do it, but its a worthy endeavour." They fell asleep in a warm embrace.

Not having benefit of ubiquitous muggle alarm clocks they slept like children, warm and tranquilly. Cuddling still when Severus woke the following day, he left the bed momentarily to toilet and wash. Summoning a small tray of delectable savouries he returned to the room. On the bed was a note.

AN/ Sorry I left it off there but I didn't want to make the reading tedious by keeping it one long long chapter. Thank everyon for the reviews and alerts!


	4. Chapter 1 Pt 4

AN/ A thousand apologies for my laps here is the final instalment of chapter one. Oh yeah- I don't the characters. Special thanks to David boreanaz's wife247 and of course Notwritten for the encouragement!

**Old Friend**

**Chapter 1 Pt. 4**

*** ***

Dearest Sev,

This mending of hearts has been more than I could have hoped for. I believe that this is only the beginning of something very special. I am sorry that I left without a proper good-bye, but if I had stayed I might not have left. I need some time to put my head on straight, then and only then can I decide my next step. The child that loved you with ardour and abandon wants to be the woman responsible for nurturing that love. I have gone now, but we will be together again for good.

Sincerest Love,

Lily Evans

* *

Severus crushed the note to his chest, and held it there.

~*~

Lily hadn't bothered with apparating home instead she walked the ten blocks to her childhood home. En route she stopped at the old playground were her friendship has first bloomed. Collecting each memory to pad her heart with. Whatever she did it wasn't going to be easy. There was much to accomplish still, so many considerations to make. That was only the beginning.


	5. Chapter 2 His Position

**I do not own any characters from the Harry Potter series. J.K.R. does, her work is great, mine is fun.**

**Thanks Jo.**

**Old Friend**

**His Position**

*****

Lily's head so held aloft like a balloon, popped as she approached her front garden. The door to her home was wide open and though no dark mark was present, adrenaline pumped spasmodically in her veins. She ran behind a bush and apparated to the top of a very old Hemlock, which gave her enough of a view without herself being seen. 'Oh, Merlin! Someone was in her home...there, a figure passed by the window...was Breide ok?' She knew that in joining the Order of the Phoenix put her in some risk, but it was a risk worth taking. She didn't know what to do, then she ascertained the answer. _Sev! Sev, would help, whatever the trouble._

Carefully balancing on the stout limb whirling through the crushing darkness to Snape's back garden. She frantically ran to the front door and nearly beat it down. 'No answer.' She tried to apparate into the house but her attempt was blocked. "Damn."

Heedless of possible onlookers she went back into the tree once more. "Am I a Gryffindor or what?" Appearing on her step holding her wand at chest level, close to her body ready to do battle. She just hoped there weren't more than one. Stepping in the entry the first thing to meet her eyes was, "You Are A Cunt!" magicked on the wall. She swallowed her gasp. Lily clicked her tongue, knowing Breide would come if she was in residence. 'No Breide' Lily hoped desperately that the owl had taken flight when the disturbance occurred. No sound could be heard in the house. _Homenum revelio._ Nothing. She fell against the wall and tried not to hyperventilate. She magicked the door, sealing it in case they returned. Likewise she cast other protective charms before she would leave her spot.

Finally feeling in control enough to investigate, she gingerly inspected each room with foreboding. Lily searched room to room, leaving her bedroom for the last.

Breath held as she opened the door, her heart shattered. Dear Breide lay on the bed. Lily cradled the little body in her arms, sobbing. Rocking back and forth she kept hold of the creature. "No, my Breide Brilliant Breide" Lily brought her out in the yard she created a perfect little grave for her faithful friend. Then she conjured marmalade toast to bury with Breide, Lily was being silly but she didn't care. Marmalade toast was Breide's favourite. The grave smoothed over. At once she returned to the violation of her sanctuary. Lily was torn apart as she discovered the remaining vandalism. Her diary was in shreds, the larger pieces were graffitied. Legends such as, "whore, I never loved you, strumpet, fool." They struck such a deep chord of confusion. "_Reparo." _She might have been able to repair her old friend but couldn't remove the stains. She clutched it to her breast, and carried it with her as she got in her old MK2 and drove to Petunia's in a fury.

Bypassing cars on the motorway, one might have thought she was using magic. Lily pulled onto Privet Drive with squealing tires, bumping the curb coming to a halt in front of number four. Snatching her bag and carelessly ramming her keys into its inner pocket. Control summoned, she rang the door bell. Graceful as ever and neatly dressed despite her current burden, Petunia answered the door. It was only Petunia's face that told her how much of a mess she was. "My, I see someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed or was it a tree?" Petunia plucked a twig and leaves from Lily's unkempt mane. She continued with relish, "either way it must have been some night."

"You probably don't want your respectable neighbours seeing your lunatic sister with twigs in her hair standing at your door." Lily's statement recalled as much to her, Petunia ushered her in. Staring wide-eyed at Petunia's mid-section. "Not to change the subject but the little man must be ready to come any moment." Smiling for first time since waking in Severus' bed. The simple feeling of happiness for Petunia worked immeasurably to normalize her frazzled state of mind. "Can we run out for coffee or tea to talk. I want to tell you everything." She gave her sister a knowing expression, that Petunia returned with a lewd one.

"Let me make the refreshments, I have plenty." Petunia said as she led Lily to the sitting room, as always very formal. "Coffee or will it be tea?"

"I'll have whatever you're having." Terrifying flashbacks from the previous night pervaded her memory and forcing her to sit down rather hard to avoid fainting. Moments later Petunia had her nice tea tray, china cups, cream pitcher, sugar lumps and tiny strawberry biscuits.

Making cheerful conversation, Petunia playing role of the perfect hostess. "Sorry about the biscuits, since we are between teas I didn't want to get anything too heavy." Lily ate a couple of the delicious biscuits to stave off her hunger. "So, tell me who the new man is? He must be something, after all you hung the moon by Potter." Greedily she observed Lily for any "telling" signs.

"Before I tell you about last night. I need to make sure you are prepared to hear the whole story, and offer me advice. I love you 'Tuney, I value your opinion, and if anyone can give me an unvarnished opinion it's you. Please?" Petunia waved her hand vaguely, hoping to dispel Lily's obvious emotion.

"Vernon, won't be home until five minuets after five." Placating Lily's concern. "Go on, you were saying?" Petunia revved up for the juicy gossip.

"Oh, alright. Yesterday, I woke in the middle of the night, sat down and paged through my old diary. Well, I couldn't get back to sleep after the nightmare."

Lily was interrupted, "the diary was your nightmare?" Looking expectantly.

"No, Tuney, a nightmare woke me and sat down with the diary Sev gave me."

Instantly, Petunia's look of deepest loathing conflicted with Lily's defensive one. "I don't even believe you kept it!" Very agitated she fidgeted with the spoon balanced perfectly on her saucer. With an airy motion, "if it had been me, I'd have tossed it...straight into the bin."

Not being able to say everything in a way Petunia would understand was going to be a roadblock. Lily hung her head in a feeble attempt to regroup. "He worked down at the docks for weeks in order to afford it, after the inland revenue had their way. I was very touched by his gift, I remain touched."

"You are touched." Petunia scented something bigger. "Wait...this doesn't have anything to do with "that boy," does it?" Anxious excitement plagued her horsey-face.

Taking hold of the book in question, she stroked the cover. Despite Petunia's obvious offense at the object in question, Lily looked mournfully at the destruction done to her old friend. "Anyway...I ended up getting piss drunk, the anger from rereading some entries compelled me to write to Sev." Petunia covered her mouth in such a way that clearly suggested some tragedy had just occurred in front of her. She stood, turning her back on Lily and the tea things. Cradling her head in her hands she wept.

"What are you on about? I haven't even got to the really bad part. It wasn't that bad 'Tuney."

Shakily, Petunia uttered almost inaudible, "he's coming to kill you?"

Lily embraced her sister reassuringly. "No. Severus Snape is not going to kill me. But something has gone terribly wrong." She confessed uncertainly. "He didn't take you against your will?"

Lily's plan for telling the story had evaporated. "No, but I did spend the night with him." Meekly she sat back down.

"Are you crazy? He was nuts when we were little, not to mention violent. Lily, honestly!" Petunia was the epitome of a dervish, whirling around to face her little sister in her voluminous maternity dress. "You're engaged to that Potter fellow. Not that I approve of him, but Lily even he is a damn site better than him. What were you thinking!"

As soon as Petunia took two breaths Lily butted in. "Tuney, I need you to listen. There's much more. Everything I tell you need to stay in confidence. Can I put my trust in you, will you keep my secret? From everyone, even Vernon?" Imploring her big sister, she knew that she was running a risk. She had no one else she could confide in. Despite Petunia not responding Lily went on. "When I walked home this morning, I got to the house and the front door was open "wily-nilly." I could see a figure in my bedroom pass in front of the window. I hid. Then I went to Severus', he wasn't home. When I returned home; my house was graffitied. The diary," she held up in illustration, "was torn to bits, and vandalized. And Breide was dead, someone killed my owl." That is where the recitation stopped, she had crumpled and sobbed. The little sympathy Petunia had for her sister, had brought her back to her seat where she extended a hand to pat Lily's shoulder.

"Lily, what if you had gotten pregnant? You're supposed to be getting married, need I remind you. Please tell me you protected yourself...whatever way you might. Lily, this is not a game." Sunk from her usual upright posture, Petunia was just as exhausted as Lily. "I must say I'm not surprised Snape tore apart your house and things. It's just the sort of thing I would have expected from him." Tiredness apparently didn't preclude her from displaying her self-righteous attitude.

"I loved Breide. She was so smart, and she was a good friend." Petunia scoffed at this, _animals can't be friends. _Lily continued, "I buried her in the back garden next to Midge. I'm too old for this."

"Why don't you call those magical bobbies. Whoever they are." Petunia offered.

Brightening at the suggestion. "Now that's a first class idea. I know two people in the m-law enforcement, they're in training to be Aurors. May I," she pointed at the fireplace. "use your fire?"

"If you must, do I need to leave?"

Lily shook her head no, "I'm pretty sure they make exceptions for crimes." Digging into her bag she withdrew a compact, knelt by the fire and tossed in a pinch. "Frank Longbottom, Department of Magical Law Enforcement." Petunia was simultaneously fascinated and horrified watching her little sister stick her head into the green flames.

"Frank, glad I got you. There's a problem, and I need a favour" Petunia listened intently to the one side of the conversation that she could hear.

"I'll make it quick then, you may want to write it down. My house was broken into, I didn't check for forced entry, my house was vandalized, and my owl was killed." Lily's body stiffened in the silence. "No, I don't remember anything being stolen, but I didn't look, I don't have valuables." Lily readjusted her position on the ceramic tile. "Damn it Frank, I was too upset about Breide to check my teaspoons! Just check it out would you, Please?" Sighing. "Key's under the mat. Everything is the way I found it except my diary which sustained quiet a lot of damage...magical, I'm sure of it."

Petunia soaked up all this new information, "Frank, I don't know of anyone who could have a grudge, but some of the Order members might know something. Might be worth a check...ok...I'll be home later. Thanks Frank, give my love to Alice." The licking green flames vanished in an instant, Lily regained her feet.

Petunia was eager to resume the conversation. "Sounds like Snape flew into a jealous rage, you marrying Potter and all." Expressing her vindictive suspicions.

"I don't know. Frank said he'd look into it." Taking refuge on the sofa clutching the diary to her, she looked to her sister. "'Tuney, I just don't know what to do."

"Well, have you told Potter? Does he know any of this?" Petunia searched Lily's face for any trace of guarded information.

"No, he has no idea. Don't know what to say to him in any case." Lily adopted a goofy expression. "Hey, James what's up...not much here except I slept with Sev, house got broke into, Breide...well, she's dead. Oh, yeah did I mention I think Sev is the guy for me." She gave Petunia an incredulous look. "Yeah, that'll go over a storm." Petunia looked as though she might fall down from shock. "'Tuney, I'm having some trouble with the implications of the last twenty-four hours, please don't. I'll go, my head feels like it'll split into two if I don't do something about it. I need a hug." Petunia acquiesced, and gave her an uncertain look. Lily left.

She drove home slower, now that she had more control.

~*~

Steam curled up in sleepy tendrils, and the scent of patchouli and sandalwood drifted from the censor. Yellow bubbles clung to Lily's thigh. There was a knock at the door. Lily let out unearthly scream.

James cautiously poked his head around the door. Surprise suffused his face. "What's happened?" Normally he would have attempted to climb in the tub with her clothes or no but she looked very serious.

"I've had a terribly long day and I need to meditate. Mind helping yourself to the frig? I really want to be alone right now. Thanks." Summarily dismissing James. He left, if reluctantly.

Tense with the unaccountable arrival of James, removed any opportunity for divining the truth, _unless._ The thought struck her that she could remove the water from the tub and attempt a quick read of the herbs floating placidly in the tub.

"What? A cat and a bear? I'll have to translate it later, James won't behave long." Reluctantly, she trudged down to her impending malstrom. Hoping she finds herself falling in front of a bus before she is forced to make a concrete decision. 'Deep breath in, deep breath out.'

"Mind telling me what happened?" James infuriated, as he leaned against _Cunt!_ Scrawled across the wall.

"If you can't tell, I'm having a bad day. If you don't mind I'd rather not be interrogated right now. Breide's dead, and I would appreciated if you'd just go." James was stung from Lily's words and wanted her to take comfort in him. "I've already contacted Frank, thought he could look into it for me, and I waiting to hear back from him."

"He sent a reply. Here it is," waving the parchment a bit. "That's what brought me here, I delivered it."

All of her attention focused in on the reply, disregarding James entirely she snatched the parchment. Slumping in a small arm chair she read, aloud.

Dear Lily Evans,

Here is a copy of the official inquiry.

Damage done to interior- wand- home-made or acid burn- the magical residue was inconclusive.

Extent of damage- Slurs and Slanders – unmovable- tests conducted, the perpetrator used an unknown charm to prevent removal. Walls will have to be rebuilt. One vandalized book not in evidence – destroyed, or unable to inspect. Pet murdered – killing curse- same wand -unknown. No sign of forced entry. Perpetrator either familiar or only Muggle locks used.

Investigation has included the questioning of all magical individuals in the area, as well as several Muggles in the vicinity.

Witches and Wizards unable to be located for questioning in area include:

Minnie Marathon, Albert Barney, Simon Zanzibar, Hattie Henderson, Ethel Mae Hatmaker, and Severus Snape.

We will send out additional information as it becomes available.

P.S. Lily,

Alice and I think it's really rotten what happened, if you need anything don't be afraid to call.

Your Humble Servant,

Frank Longbottom

Department Of Magical Law Enforcement

~*~

"I should have known it was Snivellus!" James raged. "Nowhere to be found, eh. Bet I could find him."

Growing angrier by the second, Lily stood. "It wasn't Snape." Recklessly determined to make her point. "He loves me, he wouldn't do that."

Face reddening James made an impressive figure. "You seem pretty sure of that, are you? You think a Deatheater wouldn't tear up your house and kill your owl at the very least. Lily he is a Deatheater! How can you be so naive. The man lives and breathes Voldemort. Just because he was obsessed with you years ago, doesn't make him love you now. Especially since you're marrying me. That ever occur to you?" He huffed and snorted at the monstrousness of the idea.

"You know what James just leave it alone. Frank's looking in to it for me. Frank and Alice have been trying to look out for me for ages. I don't need your analysis."

Lily got up and set about brewing coffee, needing all the energy she could get. The confrontation with James was sucking the life out of her; as if things weren't bad enough.

"Frank's looking out for you, is he, doing anything else for you? Is that it, you running around with Longbottom?" James' face got purple in response to Lily expression of incredulity.

Facing the increasing agitated James. "What would make you say such a thing! Frank is a member of the Order and in Law Enforcement, I might add. He is perfectly placed to investigate my problem. Stop talking nonsense."

James took several long strides toward and grabbed the front of Lily's dressing gown. "Who is it then, Lily? You haven't been to my bed in weeks. I know you can't get enough. Who is he?" Shaking her hard bruising her in the shoulder.

"Get out! You're hurting me! Just get out!" She tried to pull from him, but his fists were knotted in her robe.

Letting go with one hand, he pulled out his wand and cast a non-verbal charm. Lily glowed bright pink, then it faded as he lowered his wand. "Pregnant! You're Pregnant!" He shook her and knocked her over an end table. "I won't be a cuckold, You Cunt!" He turned and left out the door.

Weeping, Lily lay unmoving. Only when she had stopped crying did she get up off the floor. Her head hurt so badly. 'Pregnant.' The word echoed through her mind. "I'm going to be a mother." Taking a chair at the counter she fixed herself coffee, which blessed her with a measure of pleasure. "Strong and Sweet, just right." _James, is just angry that I went to Frank for help._Believing that was preferable to the alternative.


	6. Chapter 3 A Ripple in the Parchment

**-None of these characters are mine, they are J.K.R.'s not mine. But I like to play with them.-**

**Old Friend**

**A Ripple in the Parchment**

***  
**

Frank, finding the key under the mat at Lily's home, laughing to himself at Lily's "forever muggle ways." At least he did, until he opened the door. Alarmed at the slanders, as he examined the walls. "Lily a cunt...No, that's not right at all. This was personal."

Frank waved his wand, using a special revealing charm, he discovered the perp. The idea was monstrous. "How could he?" Frank had to sit down. "No, it couldn't be." Officer Longbottom had his doubts. Regaining his focus, searching room to room, picking up the same magical signature.

In a last ditch effort to discover his perceived error, he toured the back garden. The grave had been clearly marked. His stomach dropped. "A killer." The words were weak in the air and heavy and hollow in his stomach.

**~*~**

A burst of emerald flame lit the interior of the Potter residence. Hoping it was Lily, James jumped over to the fireplace slates.

But it was not. "Expecting someone?" Longbottom said as he stepped out of the fireplace. "How dare you," he said viciously to Potter. "Killer her owl, that's the kind of thing I would expect from a Deatheater!" Frank flicked his wand, and bound James, who promptly fell over. "What in Merlin were you about? No, No, better...What James Potter, are you doing with an acid burn wand? Committing other atrocities? Your Deatheater robes at the cleaners?" Just to clear his own mind, Frank man-handled James' sleeve up to check.

"You don't understand!" James pleaded.

_Silencio._ Another flick shut Potter up.

Frank paced around the room, barely able to contain his outrage. James on the floor and bound, wriggled across the floor to get closer to his wand. Achieving his aim, he released himself. "Accio, letter!" James shouted, before Frank could silence him again.

The parchment gripped in James' hand was immediately thrust into Frank's.

Frank read the short letter before putting his wand to it. "Severus! Never." He looked James in the eyes.

"Yeah, well that's not all. I came to her house early, as your tests should have shown, coffee and buns." James' smile looked that of sopping oatmeal. "She wasn't home, I set our breakfast down, and well, I thought I'd wait for her starkers in her bedroom. Surprise, Honey...you know."

James fell back into the cushions on the sofa, weeping profusely. "What do I find, but her diary...I know I shouldn't have read it." Wiping his face with the sleeve of his casual muggle shirt. "It just went on and on...Does Sev Love Me...How can I get him to kiss me...Sev is so smart. And to top it all, Potter is an inconsiderate toe rag, big headed fool." Dissolving into racking sobs. All the while Longbottom looked at his long time school-mate's anguish. "So, I put two and two together...Guess I am a fool!"

"James, you killed her owl. Do you think your feelings outweigh justice? I should take you in, and have you charged this instant." Frank was trying his utmost not to allow James' emotions to deflect him. "The crime was reported I have to turn in paperwork. Do you think it will go unnoticed! Certainly not!"

Sunk in his quagmire, James pleaded. "Frank, the owl was nearly as old as this house. And I know you, and Alice are good friends of Lily's. You wouldn't want Lily to get tangled up with Snape, least of all now that he is in with Voldemort." Frank winced, but took James' meaning. "Don't know if he's been officially inducted, but as far as the Order is concerned, he is Persona Non Grata. Please Frank, help me protect her from him. I wanted the crime to look like Snape did it. I wanted her to think Snape did it."

Longbottom looked menacing with his wide stance, intent stare, and bland facial expression. "You, love Lily so much, you'd have her even if she's been with that bastard?"

Officer Longbottom listened impassively.

James looked so pathetic. Vigorously nodding, "yes, I want her. I want her to see what real love is, not some stupid crush; for an evil kid she took pity on. I just hope, he hasn't done anything to her. I planned on going back to her house, to check on her. See if I can't mend things...somehow."

Tonelessly Frank interrupted Potter. "An official report has to be filed. A complaint was made."

"Please don't, I only wanted what's best for Lily." Potter was ready to start bargaining. "Here, if you want I'll give you the wand. Please don't..." He summoned the wand, thrust it to Longbottom, "please don't, I love Lily. I want her to be happy, to be with me. I want us to be happy side by side, like you and Alice."

Touched by his sentiment. Longbottom countered. "I will file the report, using only facts by omitting your residue. Facts. I'm not falsifying the report." James looked hopeful, but Longbottom drove the point home. "If it ever comes into question; I'll tell them everything. You'll go to Azkaban," Frank looked very grim. "Likely, I will too."

Overjoyed by his good fortune, James seized Frank's hand pumping it heartily. "Can you make the report now so I can give it to Lily? I'll deliver it right away."

Frank waved his wand unenthusiastically. "Here."

James scanned the document. "Snape wasn't home, probably got her liquored up, damn him!" He said angrily. "Thanks Longbottom, if there's ever anyway I can repay you, name it. Anything."

Frank said nothing, but left James with a look that clearly said _I'm very disgusted with myself._ Longbottom shook his head, turned and left.

The parchment rippled slightly in James' grip.


	7. Chapter 4 Dead Lines and Decisions

**-JKR- owns all properties, and characters. In my opinion they're way more interesting than certain plastic dolls I played with as a child.-**

**Old Friend**

**Dead lines and Decisions**

*****

Lily smiled uncertainly at her midsection. A quick muggle Math told her that the baby would be born middle or end of July. Lily recited, "Summer is the time when one sheds one's tensions with one's clothes, and the right kind of day is jewelled balm for the battered spirit. A few of those days and you can become drunk with the belief that all was right with the world." The recitation made her ponder. "Well, Ms. Huxtable, I don't know if you possessed a battered spirit, but I've got one, alright."

Lily curled up on her sofa and hugged herself. Her poor abused head felt like it might explode. "Sev, where on earth are you? I need your cool intellect just now." She magicked the curtains shut to stop the luminous assault. Lily slept on.

Lily woke with the sense of abnormality that comes from sleeping through the day. Checking the digital display on the clock groaning. "Never. Can't believe I slept all day." The addressing of her bodily needs occupied some of the hollow places in her mind. "Get it together, Evans." The pep-talk didn't appear to help. She paced around the room looking for something to do. Lily found nothing, so she put on her coat and trudged to Spinner's End.

_This, is a dismal place. It suits my mood more than I'm comfortable with._ The slush on the ground bore no similarity to snow whatever. Mixed in with the detritus, it resembled nothing so much as toxic waste. Careful not to fall Lily stepped up to Severus' door, and knocked. She didn't expect to see any lights on. There was no answer.

Desperate, and slightly panicked she knocked still harder. The door gave no token. She poured all of her confusion and worry out, "Severus!" She yelled. Warm tears turned to icy tracks on her cheeks. The side of her face pressed into the weathered grain of the door. The rough wood texture could not give her the comfort she longed for.

Twice a day Lily tried to contact Severus, in person when possible, by floo when it wasn't. The result was the same nevertheless.

More than a week went by, unable to contact Severus, giving her the peculiar feeling that it was all some mixed up nightmare in her mind. In her weaker moments, she had even begun to wonder if Severus had been the one who broke in and the vandalized her home; as James suggested.

But she wouldn't hear a word from James against Severus. Like an oak, she clung to the diminishing hope that Sev was just detained somehow. Searching the paper every day to find some mention, anything that would tell her that he hadn't abandoned her. If she made any formal inquiry into his whereabouts would be misconstrued as suspicious. And if word got around, which inevitably it would, more than a few hackles would raise in the process.

**~*~**

Her sandcastle of hope slowly dried and crumbled.

To alleviate her disappointment she went to Diagon Alley for a new owl. She had been suffering from early bouts of morning sickness and hoped she would endure the trip.

One owl richer, she left the shop with an unpleasant look from the shopkeeper. "Well," she said to her new owl. "I did throw up on the man's shoes, guess he did have a right to be snippy." The crisp cool air helped to clear her head. Feeling markedly better she ambled down the street enjoying the hustle and bustle. Lily inhaled deeply the scents wafting out from the shops.

Lily followed her nose, until she came to the most uplifting scent in the world, books. Lazily she perused the stacks. She came away with no less than fourteen books; half of them displayed legends such as; "Not the Only Witch in the World- The Premier Single Witch's Handbook to Motherhood, Foods that Promote Strong Magical Gifts for Expecting Muggle-Born Mums, Mum's Householdy Spells From Aunt Gertrude, and a hopeful, Hogwarts A History; auto-updating." Seeing this last title, she laughed. She patted her still flat stomach, "you're going to be very magical with parents like yours!"

Tired from the long trip in Diagon Alley she left for a nice sit in the Leaky Cauldron. Tom, the Inn keeper brought her out some fresh cinnamon buns and hot tea. "Tom, that smells lovely." She smiled widely at him, as she took pains to place her books in an inconspicuous place. Lily wasn't sure if Tom could read, but caution never hurt.

Completely engrossed in her refreshments and nose-deep in Hogwarts: A History. Lily hadn't noticed the man until he came behind her and placed a kiss on the top of her head. "I miss that place too." Reflexively she turned in her seat, even though she knew it was James.

"Do you know, I was having a brilliant afternoon before I was rudely interrupted by some half-witted interloper?" She said to him as he slid in the seat next to her purchases. James looked unperturbed and feed her new owl a biscuit. "He's on a diet, he'll never be able to get off the ground if you insist on doing that." The sharp edge in her voice left a wounded look on James' face.

When James looked down, he saw her books and picked one up. "Single Parenting, A Witch can Have the Best of Both Worlds?" He looked appalled. "You're not having that baby alone. I won't have it!" He pointed in her direction, then to himself. "I might be old-fashioned and all, but that kid needs a name! And if that coward..." She cut him off before he could say another word, grabbed her stuff and James by the arm. Lily towed him with her owl out onto the London streets. "But Lily? You can't be serious? Alone? No, it's not right. That son-of-a-Thestral, coward, leave you like this to fend for yourself. Lily, it's unthinkable." Lily stared back, open-mouthed.

"I haven't been "left like this," I going to have a baby, and every thing's going to be fine." Trying to put the final word on the matter. Definitely not wanting to justify herself to him, she did anyway. "S...anyway, he doesn't know."

Outrage fuelling his self-righteous fury, "I can't believe you didn't tell him, or is he just gone, or is he just a complete fuck-up unable to deal with it?" James ragged whisper cut across her heart.

Lily, didn't know what Snape would make of her new situation, she couldn't make contact with him and had to admit to it.

James sighed, "Merlin, Lily. Don't tell me your just going to keep on waiting. You can't do that to yourself, or him." James made a vague motion toward her coat.

"No!" Lily countered sharply. "I don't intend on waiting, that's why I decided to get an owl. I figure that's my best chance at contacting Sev. I wasn't really ready to get another, after Breide you know." Her eyes were awash in tears. "But, I've got to do something."

In some discomfort James shrugged. "You do what you have to do, but Lily, don't hold your breath. I got feeling that's the last you've seen of him." Lily didn't look at his face as they continued down the street. "I would never let you go without, and I know that Sirius, Remus and Peter wouldn't have it either. We're Gryffindors, we stick together, fight for good and help those in need!" He brandished an 'air sword' and waved it a bit. Illiciting a giggle from Lily.

"You forgot one thing about Gryffindors." Lily reminding him. Laughing at James' questioning nod she continued. "The infinite power to get each other in trouble."

James then stopped, put the cage on the ground, and stood squarely in front of Lily. Putting his hands lightly on her shoulders he addressed her seriously. "And we would never shirk from the responsibility of helping of getting them back out of trouble, or as near as we could."

Lily burst into raucous laughter at that. "Oh yes, like the time you and Peter conspired to make Flitwick's Shoes swell to such a size that they swallowed him up. And well, of course he thought that it had been me, since I was having such trouble with engorgement charms. I still remember it like it was yesterday, Ms. Evans while shoes and spiders both begin with 'S', they are not at all the same thing. I want two rolls of parchment on the difference between shoes and spiders." Pointing a stiff finger at James. "And you little monsters wouldn't write the essay, as you claimed not to know the difference."

"Yeah," James said sheepishly. "But we nipped down to the kitchen, and nicked a jam tart for you didn't we? We knew how much you liked those."

They continued through Muggle-London for a while, walking and talking about old times, and worries for the future.

**~*~**

When Lily got home she made phone calls to get the walls redone in her house, and wrote to Severus.

**~*~**

Dear Sev,

I am anxious to hear from you, every day has been an eternity without word. I have done everything I can think of to get hold of you, and still the gaping silence is frightening. There are matters I must discuss with you that can't wait.

On the other hand, if you are done with me, and the silence is confirmation, then I suppose I won't wait. When Benjamin brings your reply, I will know where we stand. I am an intelligent woman but not a patient one.

Best,

LE

**~*~**

Lily tied the sealed parchment to the barn owl's leg and sent him off. Benjamin was a smart owl, she liked the barn owls because they were never over-bred. Nervously awaiting a reply she sat down with her new books inhaling the aroma deeply. Lily enjoyed the deep musky, and slightly astringent scent of the leather and parchment. "The premier handbook, eh? Let's hope so." She relaxed into her book mired in the dos and don'ts, and parenting techniques. After a while her energy was sapped, so she returned the books to the table. Lily made some coffee and walked up stairs to pick out a room for the baby.

When the evening Prophet came Lily perused the adverts for Madam Tinyfeet's Baby Emporium and Magical Babies Supply. She was still unsure what to get for the baby, her mind reeled at the variety and quantity of items available. Setting that aside, she strolled down to a local café for dinner. Unfortunately, the mingle of smells set off her morning sickness, Lily returned home without appetite.

Tense when she entered her house, as she had been since the night at Severus'.

Though it was with great relief when she saw Ben waiting for her. On closer inspection she saw the note on Ben's leg was the one she herself had written, still sealed. Removing the note she threw it away, taking it for assurance that Snape wanted nothing more to do with her.

The remainder of the evening she spent alternately getting angry, feeling sad and hurt. Lily gathered up her strength, and accepted that this was her new life. Embracing it, she carried on.


	8. Chapter 5 Pain in the Dark

**-All of the characters belong to JKR not me. My stories are for fun not profit. Thanks Jo-**

**-Sorry, about the time in-between, got the "block," but I'm out now. Thanks for tuning back in.-**

**Old Friend**

**Pain in the Night**

*****

A chestnut owl pecked on the sun streaked window. Lily opened the window and let it in. Proudly it hopped over to her. Gracefully it held out its leg. "Hum?" The owl didn't leave so she open the letter and read.

~*~

Lily,

In the spirit of good Ole Gryffindor fun, there will be an impromptu gathering of friends. Activities planned to include clean wholesome fun. Your presence is expected. No Gryffindor House party would complete without their head girl. There will be food, drinks, and Quidditch Match- sides will be announced at the party, as will commentator.

This Saturday, 9:00p.m. (Waning Moon) dress appropriately.

Your Servant,

James Potter

Head Boy

P.S. -This was spawned from my meeting with you, and our reminiscence over Hogwarts. You have to come, everyone will be there. Send your reply back my owl.

~*~

"James? Why are you doing this." Lily gave up in miserable defeat, and scribbled her reply. "Dress appropriately, hum? The growing feeling of obligation blossomed into excitement. "Better bring my house sweater for the Quidditch and mittens. I hope they make it good, I haven't seen a Quidditch game in ages. I have that long black sweater skirt I can wear. Don't know what else though." The coming party was just what she needed to pull her out of the slump. "That James, bless him."

~*~

Lily preformed some of her fastest charm-work that night magicking outfits on and off, trying to ascertain the one that would be the most flattering. "Waning? Huh? Want me to wear less clothes, do you? Well, you're just going to have to make do with this," she smiled into the mirror.

Lily was breathtaking in a cream velvet tunic with a deep wine coloured flowing skirt. Examining her reflection in the mirror she opted for curls in her hair. Dabbing the potion throughout her auburn locks, she watched as each lock sprung into perfectly formed spirals. Her pregnant glow completed the ensemble.

Cramming her sweater and mittens into her bag, she _disapparated_.

~*~

The wind blew gently through the naked trees, but blessedly stayed above her head. Sniffing the air deeply as she walked up the long drive, the cold air froze the lining of her nose. A voice from behind her attracted her attention. "Don't know how we're going to play Quidditch in this. The wind isn't too bad, but it's bitter."

Lily smiled at her friend Frank. She gave Frank a quick peck on the cheek. "Where's Alice?"

Frank looked grim. "Well, she's actually at one of those girly parties. No guys, surprised she didn't drag you along. Anyway Alice thought that would be more entertaining than freezing her bottom off for the sake of drunken Quidditch."

"Too, Bad. Hey, I never got a chance to thank you, for your help with the incident." She looked away from Frank up the winding drive. "It still feels strange whenever I come home, but I know it will get better. Tell me, out of sheer curiosity, what is, an acid burn wand?" Lily lightened her tone.

Frank warmed up to his professional explanation. "Acid burn wands Lily, are wands that have had their magical signature removed. Dangerous to attempt however, sometimes it backfires. Usually, what happens is that someone will buy one from a lowlife, who doesn't care what they're used for." Lily was fascinated with the subject, much like any new topic.

Shocked Lily broke in. "What kind of lowlife would you have to be to do that?"

With no little irony, a voice from behind the wrought iron gate emerged in puffs of white breath. "You shouldn't be talking about me like that." James opening the gate wide, letting Lily in and as Frank entered James gave him a stern look.

Casually Lily touched James' arm, "I don't think your a lowlife but you are an arrogant toe-rag." She said smiling.

*

"That's right Potter, you are arrogant toe rag." The looked in the direction of the voice. The drawling voice revealed itself in the form of a dark figure. "I'm sure, at least that hasn't changed."

Instinctively, Frank and James pushed Lily behind them as Snape walked comfortably into the light. Lily with nothing to fear, huffed at James and Frank's domineering attitudes. "You have no business here Snape." Frank stepped forward with authority.

"Yeah, get off my property, you greasy git." James added, pulling his wand out.

Stern, and calm, Snape sneered at James. "Longbottom, I don't want to involve you. I've come to see Lily, and as you can see, she's just been rudely pushed aside by you big chaps." He held an open palm out to indicate a still ruffled Lily.

"Let me through." Lily attempted to push her way through the two men still blocking her. She did sometimes forget that she was a witch. More insistently. "James, Frank it's ok. I want to have a word with Sev."

Frank and James' faces were the perfect pictures of outrage and disbelief. James snapped to, realizing what Lily was about to do. "Lily, you don't have to tell him. I will. Snape, Lily is pregnant with my child! And you'll have nothing to do with her. Go!"

Severus' mask broke, though quickly considered who he was dealing with. "Right, sure that's what you want me to think, Potter, you are more asinine than maybe I had supposed." Lily sputtering outrage unable to gain the men's attention. When Snape withdrew his wand, fixing it on Lily, turning her a bright shade of pink.

The first words anyone could understand out of Lily's mouth were. "What is up with you men and that spell. What in hell gives you two the right to turn me pink!" Side stepping the gate she stood them both down. James' expression spoke of desperation of his effort to keep Lily safe. Snape's was regrettably, unreadable. "And you, what gives you the right to share MY business, or for that matter make up nonsense." The day James found out she was pregnant materialized vivid in her mind as the pink she had turned. "And if I remember correctly it was you who knocked me over and told me I was a cunt!"

James trying in vain to repair the breech. "But.."

"No, you shut your mouth!" Before she could say another word, she was stood aside by Snape, who nearly breathed down James neck, Snape's hands were fisted into James robes.

"Oh, yes. Big manly chap, knocking ladies over well, I give you a taste of what you deserve." Snape threw the first punch and gained momentum.

The muggle duel ensued. Grunts, followed the fists connecting with soft body parts. The mêlée continued until Lily put full body binding curses on the brawling men. In a show of her own rage she gave them both a solid kick and stomped down the drive. "Leave me alone," were Lily's parting words as she disapparated.


	9. Chapter 6 Inn Comfort

**-These are JKR's characters, not mine. And thank you Monty Python for such amazing jokes. I am a mere player, an' this, my hour on the stage.-**

**Old Friend**

**Inn Comfort**

*****

She arrived shortly thereafter at the Leaky Cauldron. Tom greeted Lily warmly when she entered. "Tom going to need a room, nothing fancy. And privacy." She added as an afterthought. "I'll be checking in as Nuna Witchington."

Tom was surprised, he only asked in reply. "Dear, how long will you be staying?"

Exhaustion showed in every line in her face. "Don't know Tom. I'll have to be back with you on that."

Without hesitation, Tom walked her to a room. Opening the door she was greeted with a more than comfortable room. "Tom, no, I couldn't."

He patted her hand and gave her the key. "No, my dear. I wont here of it." She touched his hand and blessed the gnarled man with a sweet smile.

Lily didn't have items to unpack, so she relaxed onto the ancient bed, and snuggled under the covers.

* * *

Panicked, Lily woke dripping with sweat. "Nightmare." The dream seemed to be lingering in the night air. Severus and James in a boxing ring pounding the life out of each other. "Too much excitement." She tried to roll over and sleep. Sleep wouldn't come. She couldn't get it out of her head the violence she had witnessed earlier. She hadn't realized Severus had been so readily capable of beating the tar out of James like that. But instantly she knew that wasn't right. Lily had seen Severus with blackened eyes and deep bruises from scraps he had gotten into over their summers. Though he never said how he gotten them.

She thought she knew how he had gotten some of them. Some the black eyes and bruises surely came from Tobias. Before she allowed her mind to get too involved with that line of thinking, she once again tried to go back to sleep.

The scent of buttered toast, coffee, and fruit filled her nostrils, pulling her from sleep. She wrestled out of her blankets, and slowly chugged to life when she saw this was no olfactory dream. Chomping her toast and sipping her hot coffee gingerly, she remembered her dream last night. At the time the dream seemed terribly disturbing but now in the light of day she found she could laugh about it. James had been wearing maroon boxer shorts with gold lightning bolts up each side. Snape had silver snake print shorts with garnet green stripes. Her recollection produced such a fit of snickering that she snorted coffee up her nose. The unwanted result wouldn't have been so bad had the coffee not burned her nasal passages. Smiling wryly, she would have thought last night was amusing if they hadn't been about to kill one another.

Just then, there was knock at her chamber door. Feeling distinctly at uneasy, she said. "Come in." It was the maid of the Leaky Cauldron.

"Sorry, Miss. I didn't want to disturb you, but you see, your owl has arrived." The beautiful barn owl flew into the room, great wings flapping.

"Thank you dear," Lily was happy to see Ben. The maid bobbed a curtsy, and closed the door. "Ben, beautiful Ben. I'm am very glad to see you. What's this you have, a letter? Can't imagine who might want to apologize." Lily imitated dizzy confusion. She took the letter from the owl's leg, and stroked his head. Looking earnestly at Ben. "I was prepared to have a perfectly fun night, but between, James, Frank, and Sev it was impossible. Wish Alice would have dragged me to the girly party."

Lily looked at the letter for a long minute before opening it. 'No markings on the outside.' Unfolding the parchment, it was a serious blow to see who sent it. "Albus?" Before reading it she cast protective charms over the door, walls, ceiling, and window. Whispering to Ben, who by now had finished the last of the toast. "Must be Order business."

The letter was pinched tightly in Lily's hands.

Dearest Lily,

I wanted to first send my congratulations of the impending birth. News does travel so fast. It is always so delightful to hear excellent news amidst all of the current turmoil. As you know I never had children of my own, but they give us the greatest joy. Those small special people challenge us to be more creative, compassionate and responsible, than (sometimes) we know we can be. I look forward to celebrating the new arrival and eventually welcoming your child to Hogwarts. Congratulations again, I know you will make an excellent mother.

Secondly, I must tell you in light of your expectant state, I shall have to hold you back from the upcoming assignment. It is not that I find you are not capable, I feel however, honour bound to keep you from undue harm. I'm currently working on something special you might consent to assist me with. I will contact you again as soon as the intelligence is confirmed. Looking forward to seeing you again.

Your Servant,

Albus

P.S. While Ben was in my office he took an appreciative interest in the cockroach clusters in my dish, I let him have a couple. I hope you don't mind my taking liberties.

* * *

"News does travel fast." Dubiously eyeing Ben, "Judging by the look of you, you've had more than a couple." The owl flapped his wings. "I'm afraid you will resemble a feathered Thestral if people keep feeding you."

*

After several more days spent relaxing in comfort, Lily returned to her home. When she did arrive there was visitor on her stoop. A man clearly, but she wasn't close enough to see how it was. Once she was within hailing distance she hollered to the man. "Oy! Who are you, and what are you doing here?"

The man turned around to face her. "Bloody hell Frank, scared the mess out of me." Stepping inside the garden gate. "What's up? Nothing wrong, is there?" He didn't look too intent. "How long have you been here?"

"Oh not long. Just wanted to bring you up to date, after everything." She chuckled mildly at that. Lily let Frank in, she gestured to the sofa. "Also, I wanted to check on you." The smile lit up his face, which gave way to laughing. "You should have seen their faces! Both of them lying on the ground mad as hell. If their wands had been in their hands, I'm sure they'd have spelled each other into oblivion."

Lily covered mouth wanting to hide her inappropriate laughter. "Then what?" She perched on the end of her seat.

"Well, as you might have guessed I couldn't just release them in their current state. So I magicked warm blankets over them and waited." Lily nodded vigorously wanting Frank to continue. "Ok so after a few moments I looked down on them, and I says to them. 'You two, going to behave like good gents and walk away? No harms been done and I think you've gotten it out of your systems. I could have told you that birds don't like that particular revealing spell being used on them.' I laughed of course. 'But you wouldn't have listened." Frank and Lily both enjoyed the tears of laughter at the account. "So, I released them and prevented further attack., warning them both, if there was further mayhem that I'd call Magical Law Enforcement down on them both."

"That's brilliant. I bet they fumed like there was no tomorrow." Frank nodded. "Well, neither of them has tried to contact me." She said a little wistfully. "Oh, well. So how was the party?"

Frank gave her a disappointed look. "Disbanded. When you left, there was really no reason to have a party, can't have a Gryffindor party without the head girl. And anyway, James wasn't a lot of fun afterward. But we did play some Quidditch. That was alright."

"I'm sorry, didn't mean to spoil the fun." Lily prowled around the kitchen for refreshments. "Tea or coffee?"

"Coffee, got a long day ahead of me." The expression of concern covered Frank's face so thoroughly that Lily had to say something.

Deliberating before speaking, "something bothering you?" She felt like she was prying but Frank was normally so happy.

He stood and walked in to the kitchen, taking a chair at the table. He steepled his fingers and gazed eloquently at his hands. 'Something was the matter,' Lily thought.

"I didn't want to ask, and by all means don't answer if you do want to, but I feel like I have to ask. Are you pregnant with James' baby? I mean I know it's none of my business, but I feel like I've got to ask."

Lily over poured the coffee and hastily mopped it up, which bought her some time before answering. Not looking at Frank, "no, the baby isn't James' and it's a terribly long story."

Frank took two slow deep breaths. "I thought not."

Looking at Frank a little suspiciously, "what would make you ask?" She handed Frank his coffee as a nice distraction from thinking where the conversation was headed.

"It's just that," Frank smoothly continued. "Snape showing up like that seemed very strange, and 'needing to speak to you of all things? Well, in my training I've seen some very strange things, but that is something I wouldn't have expected." Draining his coffee, he held it out for more. "It's Snape's then?"

"Yes, Frank." She felt worn out. "I suppose that it was you who owled Albus? After all, he only congratulated me, a father wasn't mentioned."

He held up a hand. "Guilty as charged. With you being in the Order, I thought he should know. Don't want him sending you wands blazing into a dangerous situation. Wouldn't want anything to happen to you or the baby, whatever his father's politics might be."

"Very kind of you." Frank didn't miss the tone that told him clearly she was feeling 'put out.'

"Lily, tell me what happened, I mean with Snape and all." He raised his open palms next to his head. "I know, it's none of my business, but for your safety I ask. And Lily I hope you know you can trust me."

Lily gave Frank a comical look, "I didn't expect a Spanish Inquisition."

Cottoning on, "nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition." They both laughed at the Monty Python joke, but Frank returned to his 'bobby face.' "If you can give me the short version, I don't know if I can bear the macabre details."

"Oh, alright. Here goes. I woke up from a bad dream, couldn't get back to sleep, so I poured over my old friend." Frank looked confused. "My diary, Frank. Anyway I ended getting liquored up. Then I sent Sev a great filthy letter, must have been three rolls of parchment (actually it had been five but she hadn't want to say that) about what a stupid git had been at Hogwarts. So, I passed out on the sofa and when I woke he had sent a reply. It said, say it to my face."

"Three rolls of parchment? Must have been a ripping like no other." Frank said with a trace of amusement.

"You have no idea." Lily smiled.

"Can't believe you fell for that, "say it to my face stuff"." Frank's amused look tickled Lily.

"Well, I took the necessary precautions." Frank gave her a despairing look. "Ok, well, I at least let my sister know where I was and had her phone me in the evening to make sure I had gotten home." She held up a hand to keep Frank from interrupting. "To make a long story short, I got a bit tipsy. Don't laugh, it's not funny." She shot him a whithering look. "I was feeling very strange."

Frank gave her his worried look. "He didn't slip anything into your drink did he?"

She gave him a dismissive hand. "No, more like nostalgia. You knew I loved Sev, we were best friends after all. I wanted so much for Severus to embrace me and all that I had to offer. As you know that went awry." She sunk down in her chair. "We went back to his home, I hit him a bunch and well, did it, end of story."

Frank's face dropped. To combat his obvious disappointment. Lily said defensively. "I don't regret it Frank, not one bit. Sev gave me something of himself that I cherish very dearly. And you should know too that it was then, I had decided not to marry James. I know that you will not believe me when I say, that Sev has made up ten-fold for any past insults." Lily's face was dreamy bliss.

Frank stood, walked over to Lily, moving her hair around and turning her head side to side. "Frank, whatever are you doing?"

"Checking for sign of injury." He replied frankly.

She swatted his hands away, he returned to his seat. "Stop it. I am worried about something though." Frank arched his eyebrow. "I'm worried about James. He didn't take my condition well at first, must have been a blow. He well, he was very angry."

"Has James hurt you?" Frank inquired.

She burst into tears. "Well, it was just that one time, it's like I said during the fight at the Potter place, he knocked me down, and called me a cunt. He didn't threaten me or anything, but it struck a chord." Frank put a sympathetic hand on Lily's. "Sometime later I went into Diagon Alley, James finds me in the Leaky Cauldron, chats me up, and things were pretty much as they had been, except the relationship part I mean."

"I can see James being upset, you running off with Snape, and all, but he never had a right to lay his hands on you. Engaged or not." Frank reinforced.

"And the way Sev went after James, I have to say that it shocked me. I just don't know, I'm so confused." She said weakly. Frank leaned back in his chair, downed his coffee and held his mug out for more. Which Lily graciously poured. She had barely touched her own. They sat in silence for some time. When Frank had finished his third cup he stood.

"Guess, I had better be getting back." Frank said a little mournfully.

"Ministry?" She figured.

"No, Madam What's-her-feet's. Alice will be expecting me."

Lily jumped up, looking very excited. "You two are expecting?" Frank smiled proudly. "That's such wonderful news, our babies will be born around the same time then." She hugged Frank. "Oh Frank that's great. Uhm? Do you mind if I come along? I want to congratulate Alice, and I guess some browsing wouldn't go amiss."

"Do come Lily, I know Alice will be thrilled." He held up a covert hand to his mouth. "And it might allow me to escape early, if you know what I mean."

She gave him a friendly punch in the arm. "Men!"


	10. Chapter 7 In The Shadows

None of the characters from the Harry Potter series are mine, they belong to JKR. But I enjoy them shamelessly.-

--This is after the contratante at the Potter Residence. Though, Snape revisits the time prior to it.--

**Old Friend**

**In The Shadows  
**

* * *

Lily Cried, "Where are you Severus?"

~*~

Respect and love were the only two things that could keep the pacing, taciturn Snape at bay. He would love dearly to put an end to Potter, the beast. Relishing the thought, he sat down at his desk and began to write.

This proved a futile gesture. Severus Snape knew that Lily's proven ability to show her displeasure was absolute, and didn't want to rouse her darker side. "Rouse," he spoke as if to a lover. Liking the sound of it, he contemplated it for a while. 'Pleasant,' he mused.

This put him in considerably better spirits. He sat up too quickly, pain shot through his side. "Guess I should tend to that." He walked into his sparsely furnished kitchen, and pulled off his shirt. With no thought whatever he examined the large wound on his side. 'Well, at least it was starting to scab over.' He leaned his weight against the counter and gripped the loose edge of the scab. In a slow agonizing pull, he rent scab away in bloody torrent. "Dark Lord, I deserve this, for what I have done." His face was flushed and sweating.

Once Snape had discovered the Dark Lord's taste for self mutilation, he made no attempt to hide his own. Bolstering his position. The Dark Lord had himself inflicted the most recent gash, after Snape had accidentally botched a potion leaving a fellow Death Eater near dead. Snape did not pity the man. As for the wound, Snape did not mind. All he cared about was getting close enough to the Dark Lord, so he could help defeat him. Brilliant as Snape was at brewing potions, he had become very valuable indeed.

Absently, he notices blood seeping into his pants. Irritated at the inconvenience, he waved his wand removing the mess.

Severus, decided it was now time, time to dispose of the evidence.

He grabbed his cloak and apparated to an ancient castle.

**~*~**

Taking care not to fall off the cliff, he walked to the spot. There stood a weathered fount. He took pleasure in muggle ignorance. They believed that it was supposed to be a place for baptising babies or some such rubbish. Casting protective spells efficiently prior to beginning. He placed the wand tip to his temple and drew out long tender strands of memory. They curled and unfurled in their lazy descent.

One after the other they fell, Snape wished to purge himself of his plans to bring down the Dark Lord. Setting aside memories that might incriminate him, and others that were for his eyes only.

Once that task was complete, he chose to savour his pledge. Severus never liked the sensation of poking into memories, particularly his own. The repulsed feeling however did not hinder Snape from entering.

Severus stood naked, reading the note Lily had left. Tentatively he reached into the bed covers to feel the warmth left by her body, in part to reassure himself it had really occurred.

_No time could be spared he left at once to seek audience with the Dark Lord. He only desired Lily's protection while he crafted his way out of Lord Voldemort's service._

"My Lord," the hooded Snape bowed. "I wish to ask for a favour, if I may presume." Voldemort, circled Snape like a vulture. Voldemort laughed hideously.

"Presume! Presume, Severus you may presume what you want." Allowing Severus to answer to him, the Dark Lord stood still.

"Yes, my Lord. I would hope you might make a small concession. Spare the Evans woman from the up coming conflict." Voldemort flicked his wand landing Severus face up, stretched out supine on the hard rocks. Voldemort leisurely walked to Severus who was laid out in supplication.

Resting one foot on Snape's chest Voldemort spoke. "What is the mudblood to you?"

"She brings me pleasure." His mouth curled up at the remembrance.

Voldemort delved into Snape, instantly understanding when he caught a glimpse of a drunken Lily sucking and kissing Snape's swollen cock. Voldemort's amusement echoed in Snape's head.

"Fancy a mudblood do you? Ravaging, sex hungry, drunken, mudblood. This is disturbing to me, you could choose another with pure blood. However, Lord Voldemort can understand you wanting to have a filthy mudblood serve you so eagerly, degrading act that it is. If you enjoy it, so be it." Pleasure glowed in Severus' face for not being killed on the spot. "Severus there is a price to pay, nothing comes without a price." Voldemort flicked his wand again bringing Severus upright, face to face. "Take off your shirt Severus." Voldemort hissed.

Without hesitation Severus took off his cloak and shirt. He was ready to pay the price for Lily's security, whatever the price. "Well, I see you have beaten me to it." Voldemort salivated over the catalogue of scars and fresh wounds Lily left on him the previous night.

"Every day, my Lord I punish myself for the want of that woman. I knew it would displease you. I must pay the price for my folly, my Lord." Each word true, each word devoid of it's true meaning. Snape didn't even tense as the first strokes slashed through his skin. In his mind, Snape felt only just punishment. After a few more lashes, Snape fell to his knees gasping. Able to focus on the pain he steadied himself.

"Put yourself back together." Voldemort said, as he revelled in the flowing blood of his compliant victim. Voldemort was unexpectedly surprised when Snape stood and put his shirt back on without tending to the deep lacerations.

"Pardon me my Lord, for disobeying. If it pleases you, I prefer to wear them as badges of honour." Snape said without blinking as the stinging sweat ran into his eyes. Voldemort jerked his head in accent. Snape made himself as upright as he could, and pulled his tatty appearance together.

"There is a matter of importance Severus I wish for you to attend to."

"Anything, my Lord." Snape bowed, sucking in a pained breath through gritted teeth.

"It has concerned me that I have no presence at Hogwarts, someone to guide the students on the right path. Lord Voldemort wishes for you to seek out the position of Defence Against the Dark Arts. If that post is occupied, try for Potions. You would still be influential in my calculation. Killing the current professor might be affective, however I believe it might raise too many questions. Severus, I believe you have sufficiently proved your loyalty. If it is a matter of your alliance with Lord Voldemort, denounce me to attain the position. That old fool will believe you, and trust you. Lord Voldemort rewards the faithful Severus."

"Yes, my Lord." Severus replied.

"You are dismissed." Voldemort hissed. Snape bowed low, and disapparated.

Gasping for breath Severus withdrew from the memory.

Distracted he itched at the still healing wounds from the Dark Lord. It had been weeks since Lily had stayed with him at Spinners End. He gathered at the memories drifting in the Pensieve. Placing them all together in a flask, Snape cast the object into the iron grey waters below.

* * *

~*~

In the Hog's Head Severus nursed his drink in expectation of the Headmaster's arrival. When Albus arrived Snape had the distinct impression of amusement. _Blast the man, couldn't he take anything seriously._ Severus stood when Dumbledore approached the rear corner table. "Headmaster, I trust your walk down was pleasant."

Dumbledore's eyes pursed into cycle moons. "Yes, the snow does make everything look so lovely."

"I trust too, that you have reviewed my qualifications for the post I am applying for." Severus was dressed smartly and appeared to be every bit of an eager job seeker.

Albus looked slightly dismayed at this. "I regret to say, I was unable to contact Lord Voldemort as a reference."

"The Dark Lord, Headmaster?" Severus asked startled.

Albus drank his newly arrived mead with pleasure. "As I understand it Severus, it is he, who has employed your many talents the longest. Thus, it makes sense to contact him regarding your qualifications."

Snape leaned across the table. "Headmaster, I beg you understand that I do not wish," Severus' lasted words were a mere hushed up whisper. "To be aligned with the Dark Lord, I wish to be an asset to you and your cause."

"Ah, Severus. You are playing a dangerous game and I don't believe you are quiet ready for the consequences. No, talented as you are, now is not your time to rejoin Hogwarts."

"Thank you Headmaster, for seeing me. I appreciate your candour. " Feeling distinctly defeated, he paid their tab and left.

Returning to Lord Voldemort, Snape knew he would pay some price for his failure.

The Dark Lord received Severus' news with dispassion. "Severus you haven't tried hard enough! Carry your fear of service to Dumbledore, offer him your pain as testament. "Crucio!"

The only sound coming from the convulsing man was a faint, "I'm sorry."

"Now go!" Screamed Voldemort.


	11. Chapter 8 Whirlwind

**-The characters from the Harry Potter book series belong to JKR not me, but I find pleasure in them everyday.-**

**Old Friend**

**Whirlwind**

*****

Lily set down her packages in the Baby's Room. She was exhausted after a day of shopping with Alice and Frank but very happy. A day out was just what she needed to put her into a good mood. Deciding on rest she went to her room for a bit of a nap.

Just as she had managed to open her door a crack she saw a flash of colour. Withdrawing her wand, she opened the door with a crash. Then she leaned heavily on the door to quell her terrified heartbeat.

Inside her room were bouncing balloon of all descriptions, flowers from all over the magical world and a card sing her praises. Nervously she laughed. She knew who the sender was, "James, I can't believe you. Such a play-baby." She stepped forward to pick up the card as it sang, "...my heart is beating in your treasure chest...*" Tears welled up in her eyes as she read the poem James had written carefully inside the card.

I am the land

You are the sea

We come to together and separate

As nature demands it be

If I could have it my way

You would be a lagoon

And I would be the lush fertile land

That wrapped it arms around you

But instead I think

That you remain an icy shelf

In the furthest reaches of the north

Resting on my frozen self

No, do not remains so

I want you here with me

Spending year after year loving and tending

Our precious family

I Love You, Lily. Come Back.

Lily was so moved by the poem, not because it was a masterpiece but because of the sentiment, tenderly she wondered how many dictionaries he had consulted in its construction. She hugged the handwritten card to her heart as it continued to sing on. _The hormones could be contributing._

Still wanting to lay down, Lily found she was much too distracted to do so in her room, she chose instead the sofa.

Waking completely refreshed, she yawned and stretched. As soon as she put her hand on the refrigerator, she remembered she hadn't been to the market. Lily opened it anyway. Inside awaited, French and Italian dishes, already prepared, each one with the legend, "Come to Dinner with Me. Candlelight and Wine are Waiting." Her stomach was protesting "abuse" throughout her inspection of the gastronomic delights. Giving up in sweet surrender she reached for the Gnocchi,with Sausage Stuffed Pumpkin Blossoms and a Roasted Garlic Head nestled in a Butternut Squash Volute. Her mouth watered indecently as she transferred it to the table. Gingerly she pulled out her wand to heat it up. Considering the elegance of the dish she enchanted a candle to burn as she ate and filled a beautiful goblet with mineral water.

When she savoured the last tiny morsel Lily leaned back in her chair and exclaimed. "Normally any food tastes better when cooked by someone else, but this was exquisite."

Politeness demanded that she send a thank you to James, with a strong admonishment for being so lavish with his gifts.

After relaxing to the Wizarding Wireless, she craved ice cream before retiring. The freezer chest looked much the same as the refrigerator compartment, full of sweet delights. Lily settled on the Raspberry Napoleon in lieu of the Dark Chocolate Guinness Gelato. Bubbling and amazed she felt like a queen.

After freezing the bouncing balloons, and the card's song, she went to bed with a haunting concern. "What must you be thinking Severus?" She thought she might write him tomorrow to explain everything.


	12. Chapter 9 An Account

-=JKR, I don't make money doing this. It's just for laughs.=-

Old Friend

An Account

*

Restively shuffling to and fro, waiting on that wretched Frank. His meddling would be really useful just now. Though, in fairness the Ministry likely kept him very busy all and all.

Lily had planned on sending Severus an owl, however she decided that waiting on a reply wouldn't assuage her anger. Better that she go, at least she would be doing something. _Damn, the man!_ Lily thought uncharitably.

In a snit Lily jerked her coat off the peg, and stormed out the door. Her anger was full tilt by the time she had gotten to Spinner's End. Rapping on the door angrily, "Severus Snape, you open up right now!" She bellowed at the placid door.

It was doing no good, there clearly no one was home. Not quite ready to give up the ghost, she went down to the river, and would stay there until she had fully exhausted her patience. Everything was calm the wind swirled discarded newsprint merrily, the sky was a delicate blue and the temperature was pleasant; as though the world was happy to spite her.

Finding a sparkling granite shelf, she settled in for the wait. There was a smooth patch of dry loose silt next her hand. In it, she traced a slender decorative "S", next to it a bold "J". _Strange likenesses,_ she considered. _Both were talented, single-minded, and alpha as they come. Though, like two sides of the same coin; dark and light, quiet and boisterous._ Revisiting the question foremost in her mind since the been at the Potter house, "what must you be thinking, Sev?"

Potter had already embraced the idea of beginning a family, but she knew that he would, since he had told her early on that he wanted six or seven children. _Like that was going to happen_. Lily felt sour. Something that he thought he missed out on, being an only child and all.

However she had no inclination what Sev's feelings on the matter would be. Lily let out an audible groan. Given his experience as a child, he likely wouldn't think he had enough background to be a good parent. Very likely. She was not sure how he'd cope with the perfunctory social implications; the kindly-meant attention from strangers, dirty messes, and that was before you factored in other people's children. And well, if it was a girl more so. After all, there were sleepovers and dating- eventually to deal with. She felt completely miserable at the thought. "It's not like we could join his friends for parties in the park."

Lily sat rocking back and forth, to keep her bum from falling asleep. It stands to reason that whatever happens, it's not going to be easy. In show of defeat she flopped backward, and lay, eyes squinched shut from the sun.

"W'ell, lookie 'ere, we gots ourself a pretty in. Ain't, you. All dolled up an' everyfing. Seems a shame, you all 'lone, us 'ere gonna put a smile on that pretty face." The other man snickered.

She hadn't even heard them walk up so caught up in her own thoughts as she was. Lily tensed, frantically, she wondered if she had her wand. She sat up quickly, surreptitiously feel for it's comfortable rigidity. "Damn," she muttered. "Sorry, mates you've got me all wrong, I'm just biding until my friend comes home." Her cultured tone was perhaps too cultured for these hooligans, but she hadn't really considered the neighbourhood.

"Well, 'e shouldn't be leavin' such a nice bird like you sittin', an' all 'lone to boot." The men came closer, she tried to look imposing but she was clearly out of her element. They landed soundly on the granite shelf, one on either side, grinning broadly.

In one fluid motion they pinned her face down against the sparkling surface. She was in full panic, kicking and screeching and clawing. They man-handled her more securely against the rock.

"Oi!" An angry voice said. She found herself released. They were still standing on either side of her not moving, so she stood. Looking up, she sighed with relief.

"Not the welcome wagon I expected. These chaps were trying to make me feel at home," Lily said trying master her self-possession. "Send them away James, it's over." There was a subtle rustling in his coat and the men decamped.

Not quite smiling he said, "I'd like to show them a good time." Lily held up a hand in response. "Waiting for him, hmm?" James gestured with his now unsheathed wand.

There, a short distance away was Severus. Even James could feel her nervous tension. Lily only nodded and walked toward the still figure. James clearly looked like he wanted nothing more than to break Snape's face but forestalled.

Lily's approach wrought no change in Snape's visage, he was as still as the rock she had almost been brutalized on, and just as expressionless. When she looked back, James had left. The silence build between them surely as if it were a wall.

Still, without speaking, Snape turned and Lily followed. Deep in his mind, Severus didn't want to be the first to speak but he knew too, that it was unavoidable. Snape turned, gripped Lily just above the elbow, "hold on." Disapparating.

She turned gracefully on the turkey carpet as she came to a smooth stop. Snape turned his back to her as he whipped off his overcoat. He sat weakly in a chair, motioning for Lily to do likewise. Lily settled herself more slowly. "Tell, me what in blazes is going on." Continuing in his flat monotone, "first, you write me that inflammatory letter." Severus raised an eyebrow. "Then we meet, and have what I am pleased to say was the most exquisite night of my life." Snape closed his eyes mournfully. "You take off, leaving me the letter. The next thing I know you were at the Potter's with an Officer of the law and him." Making his meaning very clear. "Potter, says you are pregnant by him- you are no doubt pregnant. This whole affair seems questionable at best," the last word came out as a hiss of accusation.

Lily merely slunk deeper in her seat. "Severus," she said fiercely. Then ended rather weakly, "...what's your middle name?"

"I don't have one, according to my father, they are an unnecessary frippery. Continue."

Gamely Lily took back up the thread of her story, "okay. Yes, I wrote the letter. I was," there really wasn't a better word. "Piss drunk," tendrils of scent-memory came back to her. "I was supposed to marry James, I'm sure you know that. When I was lying in bed the morning after, the whole world just sort of felt paradoxically perfect." Lily gave Severus a bold dry look, conveying her depth of feeling. "When I got home, my house had been vandalized and my owl killed." She bent forward, hugged her knees weeping. Severus pressed an antique lace kerchief into her hand. That spurred her onward while mopping her face. "You probably don't take much stock in it but I read the herbs in the bottom of my bath; a cat and a bear- the bear was sort of misshapen; like it was part regular bear and part teddy bear. Anyway when I checked my tasseography lexicon it said the cat symbolized a deceitful person and the bear must mean a grouchy, strong person from my childhood," She conveyed this with no little chagrin. "I still don't know what to make of the deceitful person, but I think the other is clear enough." He answered her with a dry look of his own. Then it all tumbled out. The desire to make contact with him, to no avail, the invite to the party and the conversations with Frank.

"What about Potter? It seems to me, you've said precious little where he is concerned." There was an audible silence.

"He well, got angry when he found I was pregnant...well you'll know about that. Later he tried to make an apology. I can see why he was angry." Severus flushed and stiffened. "I met Frank at the Potter's and that's really about it."

"You're leaving something out." He vaguely motioned toward her midsection, not being able to mention it directly.

Lily touched her stomach gently and sighed. "The babies are not James'."

Severus turned pale. He mouthed, _babies._ "You don't mean...more than one, surely?"

Angry Lily stood, seeking solace in the heavy wooden mantle. "Yes, babies, twins. What difference does that make? I'm still pregnant, by you I might add. And I expect they," she said for emphasize. "Will need names." She lay her head near the clock and stayed still. Sadness and confusion washed over her like relentless waves.

Severus sat, afraid his feet wouldn't support him. Bodily urges compelled him past ability and he hurried in to the privy, where he could be heard retching and vomiting.

Lily taking this, for as much confirmation as she needed, shoved herself into her coat and left. Never to return to that stark place.


	13. Chapter 10 Time Yet

-=I am only borrowing the characters, to do my dirty deeds.=-

Old Friend

Time Yet

*

Inside the safety of her home, Lily strode from window to window, door to door placing repelling charms on them. She needed a moment to herself, _there was time yet? Wasn't there? _Upon completion of her immediate task she lay down on her bed and wept. The doom she had been feeling wash down upon her. _He couldn't handle it, he clearly couldn't handle it._

She cried her self to sleep.

*

Lily was woke from sleep to unceremonious banging on the front door. Dimly she wondered why the repelling charms hadn't worked. Then the yelling started up, "I know you're there Lily, open up. I can get in if I have to." Carefully peeking out the window it was Frank. Such relief she couldn't believe.

Bounding down the stairs to keep Frank from blowing the door in, she opened it immediately. "Lily," he breathed. "Thank goodness, you had me worried, what's up with all of the extra protection? When I stopped by before you weren't here?"

"I won't give you all the gory details, but I've spoken with Severus." His name hung in the air like a spectral shape. "I'm on my own, but there's time yet."

"That dog." Frank blurted vehemently. Once he had calmed himself, he placed a gentle hand on Lily's. "You are never alone. But what did he say? You told him I assume."

"Certainly, I told him...but when he...," she stopped short there. "I know Frank, just trust me, I know. He can't," more certainly she finished. "He isn't equipped for this. And I'm not going to make him. That would be a bad situation for both of us."

Frank took in Lily's appearance carefully; from her dishevelled hair, to her puffy face, and wrinkled clothes. "Coward, chicken-shit bastard." Lily found herself amused at Frank's vitriol.

"Don't get overly excited, you might blow something. Anyway Frank, it's like I said before. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself, and the babies."

Looking like a landed fish, Frank's mouth worked soundlessly. She couldn't help herself, and broke out in giggles. "Yes, babies Frank. Babies, I haven't been to St. Mungos, but I know that much for sure. And yes, there is no doubt in my mind they are Sev's. Don't know what the sexes are yet, but that doesn't matter anyway. Isn't it wonderful, Frank I'm going to have two little darlings."

Frank wanted to protest, but was obvious that Lily's joy was genuine. Instead he just pat her on the hand. He was incredulous with mirth, _she was so happy_. "Little Mummie, you never do anything half-way do you? Wanted to out-do Alice and me I expect."

She smiled shyly at that. Then, raised a premonitory finger at him. "You are not telling James, swear Frank. I'm not ready to tell him, or anyone else for that matter."

He solemnly put his hand on his heart, and nodded. "I won't."


	14. Chapter 11 A Walk to Remember

-=All Hail J.K. Rowling for excellent characters.=-

Old Friend

A Walk To Remember

*

Lily pulls her solitude around her like a mantle. A thick snow banks up around house and drive, needing to do something she settled on taking a walk.

She noted discontertedly that her wellingtons weren't nearly warm enough. The street was blissfully quiet, not a soul in sight.

Rounding the corner she slipped on a piece of ice and went down, cracking her head on the walkway she passed out. When she came to, Lily's head beat with paroxysms of pain and her whole backside was wet. "Must have pissed myself." She was weary of turning her head too quickly. Lily knew she had to get up.

Mrs. Green come through the intersection and stopped, jumping out of her little Fiat. "Dear me, Lily yal'right? Looks like you took quite a spill," with a grunt of effort the squat women got Lily standing. "Com'on there's a girl. Didn't batter yer brain, did ye?"

Her neighbour came into sharper focus, "no, I don't think so." Nervously she looked down, 'no blood.'

Lily was still unsteady on her feet, so little Mrs. Green ushered her into the car. "I'll just take ye home." She patted Lily on the leg. "I'll just get ye settled in we'ha nice hot tea and you'll be good as new."

Lily panicked when Mrs. Green got her to the door, remembering the graffiti still on the walls. "Ah no Mrs. Green, that will be alright," Lily managed a relieved smile for her rescuer. Mrs. Green relented graciously and left Lily on her step, with further assurance of assistance if need-be. Lily went in to lay down.

She was going to St. Mungo's at the end of the week in any case, no point in making two trips.


	15. Chapter 12 One Less

-=Thank you Ms. Rowling for the exceptional world you've created.=-

Old Friend

One Less

*

"These tables are so uncomfortable." Lily said morosely to herself. Sitting in the desolate room wasn't doing much for her mood.

There was a perfunctory rap on the door, and the healer entered. Extending a free hand to Lily she said, "Ms. Evans my name is," she brandished her name tag. "Tabatha, call me Tat. I see that you came in for," looking at her clipboard. "Pregnancy check-up, this is your first." Tat looked up from her papers, "self-diagnosed."

Lily jerked her head in ascent. Tat put down her paperwork, walked to her and pulled out her wand. "Just relax back onto the table. It won't take but a minute."

Tat was true to her word, after waving her wand in a circular motion around Lily. Tat took a seat and allowed Lily to sit back up. "Ms. Evans, here in your chart it says that you told admission you were pregnant with twins." Tat indicated to Lily to listen. "Many pregnancies begin as twins, even among Muggles, but for whatever reason one of them do not make it full term." Lily's brain shut down. "Usually this happens early on, many women never know there was ever a second child." Wanting to bring attention back to her she said, "I mention this, because it is apparent to me you are exceptionally intelligent. I shouldn't try to mislead you."

But Lily cut her off, "I took a fall some days ago, I wasn't terribly hurt...but..."

Tat pursed her lips, "Your womb is the best shock-absorbing system around, it is very unlikely." Tat moving the conversation forward. "Aside from that, you are very healthy, young and your other pregnancy is healthy and whole. Try not to let 'what could have been' taint what you still have to look forward to." Bracing her clipboard on the top of her knees, "do you have any questions for me?"

"No, not right now," Lily replied. Tat nodded wisely.

"You can call back and before you leave I'll give you a new mother bag." Healer Tat continued, "would you like to know the sex?"

Lily dried her watery eyes, and whispered, "yes."

The healer smiled a little, "it's a little boy." She wagged her finger at Lily, "you'll have to start picking out names." Seeing Lily was still very upset. "You know, Ms. Evans there is a group to join that might be some comfort to you if you're interested?" Not seeing a response she just pat Lily on the hand as she stood. "I'll put their flyer in your bag."

Tat conjured the bag and saw Lily out the door.


	16. Chapter 13 Cheers

-=I don't own anything from the Harry Potter Universe=-

Old Friend

Cheers

* * *

The loss of her little darling was a constant companion. She eventually told Frank, her ad hoc counsel. It didn't bring her comfort, only a small bit of understanding in her present melancholy.

Lily woke up to what she thought was knocking, fully roused it came to her that there wasn't any resounding noise. There it was, she almost cried. Her little man had kicked her. Still in her bed, she lay her hand on the energetic mound, the other hand was being gently clamped between her teeth. When the next kick came she hollered out in joy.

Lily sprung to feet, and hurried to get ready for the day. Elated and totally amazed, she sloughed off her mourning and went out to join the world.

Throughout her day touring Diagon Alley, the air was sweet- a promise of warmer days and happier times. A quick stop into Madam Tinyfeets's Baby Emporium to browse, then to Madam Malkin's for maternity robes.

En-route to the Leaky Cauldron she ran into Alice. After catching Alice up on events, as it were, they went to a quiet spot in the Leaky Cauldron. Tom just happen to be present when her little man started kicking. Tom, like half the people in and around Diagon Alley were treated a round kicking from Lily's growing hump.

"Good lord, Lily is it suppose to do that?" Her smile was answer enough. "Well, that's a relief. Thought for a moment he was mutinous." He gave her a wide gummy smile.

"No, Tom but he's pretty eager to hop on out, just ask my liver." Tom trotted off, only to return with a butter cake.

"Best in the house, eat up ladies, 'tis a happy day! Bless you." The patrons got a little restless for Tom's attention making vocal admonishments. "Shut yer pie holes, be right there." He smiled again at the expecting ladies and returned to his duties.

"Yes Alice, it is a happy day. This little guy has made me so happy, I can't wait to meet him." Champing into the delicious cake they were soon joined by half of the Order.

Each of them took it in turn, touching the ladies swollen bellies. Lily secretly thought Peter had never touched a girl in any kind of familiar way before.

"You are so beautiful, forget the moon, I'm Lily-struck." Instead of using his hand to feel the jumpy-bump he pressed his face to it. When he was gratified with a kick to the head, James looked up in pure adoration to Lily. "He's so strong, I better start buying his Quidditch equipment now!" Lily sniffed back tears and snacked him lightly in the head. Still on his knees, James wrapped his arms around her and wept. "So beautiful, so wonderful."

The surrounding men glanced around uncomfortably pretending not to get drawn into Lily and James' sentiment. James started getting all "mushy" with the love stuff, as he met Lily's reddened eyes. "Lily, I love you so much." Cradling the little mound with both huge palms, his kissed it soundly. "Be mine," looking at her stomach, "both of you."

Surrendering, she through her arms around James hugging him to her. Lily nodded with her face squinched up. Her body shook with the force of her silent tears. All around them, inhabitants of the pub, let out whoops and cheers. Their joyful noise was deafening. James and Lily created some distance between them, where Remus was able to offer Lily a handkerchief. Giving Lupin a watery smile, she mopped her face.

"Drinks! Drinks Tom! Lily will have me after all! And something appropriate for the little mothers!" James bellowed.

After they were all equipped with drinks, the toasting began. Sirius pushed James aside took Lily's hand. "To Lily, may you and James have amazing life together," whispering to James, "and bed." Addressing Lily and onlookers, "May milk flow from your breasts like the fountain at Trevi. I'm salivating just thinking about it." Lily pummelled him with her knotted fists. "And the very best to the little guy, hopefully he won't be an arrogant berk like James."

James gave him a light shove saying, "or his Uncle Sirius." Everyone guffawed. Sirius looked terribly pleased at the inclusion.

Everyone made a contribution to the toasts, glasses were raised, drained and refilled again in succession. Many of the attendees ended up with rooms in the Leaky Cauldron as a consequence.

James sneaked away with Lily once the impromptu celebration wound down. They huddled to together in the chill of the night's breath. James embraced Lily sharing a feeling she knew so well. 'A jewelled bright balm, to be sure,' she thought ecstatically.


	17. Chapter 14 Ring the Bells

**-=Fire the Canon-and Fly Free Fiction=-**

**Old Friend**

**Ring the Bells**

**

* * *

  
**

"Places, places everybody!" Sirius yelled over the expectant crowd. "before the bride changes her mind." Everyone settled down and the music started. Sirius scuttled to the front to stand by a bemused James.

"She's going to kill you," James said to Sirius in a low whisper. Sirius shrugged in response.

_~*~_

_All of the Order were in attendance, among other friends, old teachers, and escorts. Petunia declined her invitation,_ Lily thought sadly. She gripped Remus' arm tighter for support. _He was such a good friend,_ smiling over at him. "Oh, Remus, all of our friends are here, look," she waved her bouquet in Hagrid's direction. "We should have made shift to get him his own row." They shared a smile. They finished walking up the aisle. James stood still looking at the blooming bride as though he could will her to him. Professor Dumbledore officiated. Before Remus gave Lily to James, Lily leaned towards Sirius, "I heard you, you'll pay for that later." Lily smiled sweetly at Sirius.

The music quieted as Albus began his address. "I do love weddings," he pronounced. "This is the first wedding to be held at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, if I have my way it won't be the last." His eyes twinkled at the assembly's mirth. Albus gestured for Lily and James to face the crowd. "In these troubled times, nothing came be so wonderful as two hearts finding one another and joining for this perfect union. Lily Evans and James Potter have come today to share their joy with you, their friends and beloveds. Having such long history with these two talented people, I can say they have what it takes to battle through life's challenges, be it motor traffic in the round-abouts or protecting one another."

A, "here here," lit from the assembly.

Dumbledore continued, "yes quite. I believe the brainpower and curiosity between these two will help them live a happy and fulfilled life together, throughout all of their days." Albus smiled, placing a hand on the proud couple's shoulders. "There are vows to be given and accepted to bind and seal this love. Whose love brings Lily Evans forth to join with her chosen, James Potter?"

"I do Albus," responded a shyly blushing Remus, half-bowing.

"And Remus Lupin, you give Lily to James unrestrainedly?"

"Yes," Remus said looking that bit nervous, though smiling at Lily in warm affection, which she returned.

"And you James Potter, you do so wish to take Lily through any and all difficulty. Be her support and the rock on which she shall stand?"

James turned to face Albus then Lily. "I will, every day and twice on Sunday." James gripped Lily's hands gently.

"Lily, will you be the fountain that flows with love for James, mends his woes and holds his heart?"

"I will, forever and ever." Tiny tears slid around and down the curve of her cheeks.

"Lily and James face one another. Do you Lily and you James vow to give one another loving companionship in all times, be it prosperity, or famine, weakness and strength, joy or woe?"

The bridal pair's eyes glittered and swam, they took their final vow. "Yes, I will." They said in unison.

"Let us now exchange the rings." Sirius presented the rings to the bride and bridegroom. When the rings were secured, Albus faced them back to the crowd. "James and Lily, you may kiss, that all of the world share in your love." Albus said raising up his hands in exultation. "May I introduce Mr. and Mrs. Potter!" Albus whipped out his wand with a flourish, streamers and butterflies flew up around the inside of the tent. Everyone stood clapping The newly weds' embrace intensified.

The room had been rearranged so the merriment could begin. Like wild mushrooms cameras broke out on all sides flashing and sparkling. Never had Hogwarts seen such toasts. Madam Rosmerta's best Oak Matured Meade was procured for the occasion. Following the bridal pair's first dance, Sirius horned his way in.

Lily hadn't had any wine save the spare glass for the toast, but her head was buoyant with joyful contagion. _The man can dance, I'll give him that._ When she twirled back in toward Sirius she inquired, "You ready to take it to the next level Mr. Black?" They paused for a moment, Lily pulled her wand out to magnify her voice, "Sirs, give me a Lindy, medium." When the music started up they knew their footing, she was a natural dancer, but Sirius was trained from an early age to be a gentleman. Their steps were graceful, and seamless. The floor cleared a bit, she couldn't do the acrobatic stuff right now. However, Sirius was strong enough to help raise her, for an elevated kick. There was more than enough room for the required slides and turns. Sirius was gunning a little more personality into their dance to compensate. When the final measure rang out, it was replaced with raucous applause.

Sirius pecked her on the cheek and whispered to her, "thanks, this ought to get me at least one date tonight."

"Rake!" A slightly seductive smile played around his lips. She was perspiring a bit, _oh good Remus, come to fill Sirius' shoes._ Bowing to her, Remus proffered Lily his arm. "I'm damp, if you don't mind, I'm ready set go."

"You are radiant. Don't sell yourself short." She gave him a half curtsy in return as the slower number started. This song was slow enough that they could talk. "You know Lily I need your assurance that this is truly what you want. We talked before, I know...I guess what I'm saying is that I don't want this to go badly for you. Lily, never forget I'm your friend first. I love James and think he's great, I want him to be the best for you." He gave her a pointed look.

"Dear Remus, you're a comfort to me. Selfless in the face of obstacles, and yes, I'm sure I'm making the right decision. If you could have seen the look on his face when I said "babies," then to retreat into the bathroom to throw-up. Well, I'm sure you would have come to the same conclusion I did, he can't handle it. And that was only the first hurtle. It's like I told Frank." They were interrupted by Frank, as though he had been conjured by his name.

"I heard my name. You must have worn poor Remus out." The men bowed to one another, Remus went to find Alice. "So, Mrs. Potter enjoying your evening?" He smiled graciously.

"Yes Officer Longbottom, it's been thrilling. So many people were able to come," extracting her hand to dab at her eyes. "It, just makes me so happy."

Turning once more, gliding along, "no Officer Longbottom tonight, I'm off duty." Making a show of relaxation, "going let my hair down, and cut a rug with as many beautiful ladies as possible." which was indeed funny because is longest hair was maybe a couple of centimetres.

Lily displayed nothing but mock surprise, "but Alice? She shouldn't miss out on your kind attentions."

Frank frowned, "being pregnant is giving her a case of the whirlies. Poor lamb, the slightest bounce turns her green. She can't even apparate for fear of losing her lunch. Hope we're near St. Mungos when the time comes." The dance ended Frank kissed her on the forehead and they left the dance floor. "Remus seemed rather earnest."

_I suppose he wants the gory details,_ Lily flapped a hand, "you know Remus is always earnest, and a bit of a worry-wart."

They almost reached Alice and Remus, "enough said. Alice dear, Remus isn't trying to steal you away from me is he?" She shook her head blushing. Frank turned to Remus."Thank you for entertaining my lovely wife, shall we get some refreshments for them."

Lily and Alice started to chat, take their shoes off and prop up their legs. Albus in the meantime had wondered over.

"You are the picture of health and beauty, it makes me burst with joy." He took their hands kissing each of them. "You, being married women, might be amused by a joke I heard recently." They nodded eager. Both of the ladies were given their drinks. "Gentlemen. Would you care to join us I was about to regale a joke I heard recently?" They seemed interested. "A bride went into Madam Malkin's to buy a wedding gown, her groom waited outside. When she returned to him she was terribly upset. Her intended asked her what the matter was. She told him that 'another woman had chosen her wedding gown.' And the perplexed bridegroom asked, 'she'll give it a good scourgify before she returns it to you, won't she?" The ladies chuckled nearly spilling their drinks, the men however had no idea what was so funny.


	18. Chapter 15 Lesson Number One

-=I write for fun, not funds.=-

AN/ Thank you everyone for your continuing interest. The reviews have been encouraging. Thank you!

**Old Friend**

**Lesson Number One**

~*~

Winter gracefully relinquishes is hold on the world, Severus marks his time in solitude. "It was for the best he told himself," for perhaps the millionth time. His experiments weren't even enough to keep the spectre of loneliness from him. She, in his mind had rejected him. He thought of the physical torment he could endure without complain, not to mention humiliation. "Ms. Evans you'd have done me great service if you had plucked my heart out." He supposed it was because she'd rather leave him with a gaping void.

Severus Snape's tempest of pain, gurgled to a numb emptiness as Summer gave way to Fall. In the dim light that filtered through the shifty clouds, for better or ill he almost felt like old self. Brewing potions and studying healing techniques.

Severus found himself very busy upon the afternoon, a swarm of Deatheaters' owls congregated in his back garden waiting to deliver messages. After retrieving all the notes and being half-pecked-to-death for his sins. He hurried to get his travelling healer's kit together. _Injuries, many and varied._ He threw ingredients, spell books, and implements into his hard-sided apothecary case. Apparating without a moment to spare.

Snape's stride was sure as he entered the Lestrange's country house. _It looked like a field hospital._ Tossing his scarf off to one of the maids, Severus rolled back his sleeves to keep his cuffs clean. "You there, take this, he handed a large blue bottle a young Deatheater with frowzy black hair. One dessertspoonful to each that are screaming." The young man looked bewildered. "Now! One dessertspoonful!" Severus put one long erect finger between the kid's eyes. Bellowing orders at other servants and hangers-on, the great room began to hum with orderly activity. When everything that could be done was done, it was all measured maintenance.

Mercilessly pointing at the boy again, "Tea, fire whisky, cheese and cake." While waiting for the boy to return Severus washed his hands, splashed a cooling draft on his face and straightened his tatty appearance. Severus was conjuring a fat comfortable chair next to the antique commode as the boy brought up his tray. Flourishing his napkin, snapping it neat and settling it on his lap he began to eat and drink.

Just as he finished up the tea and cake he noticed the lad was standing still beside him. "Yes?" Snape's inquiry clear to the lad.

"Begging your pardon," The young man pulled up a hard chair.

'Lad had nerve.' Snape continued in his edification with a solid tot of fire whisky, waiting for the boy to speak further.

"It's just that, I never seen anything like it." The boy's eyes were as wide as Galleons.

Severus batted away his comment, gesturing with his glass. "They get injured like this frequently, you get used to it."

"Ah, no sir. That's not what I meant. It's just out of the fifteen or so, there's at least a dozen that are fixed up as good as anything. How'd you do it?"

Severus drained his glass and laughed. "With a reasonable amount of study, a cool head, and hard work anyone could do it." Severus was relaxing, one jigger at a time. "What's your name kid?"

"Pavel, Sir." The young man opened his mouth again as though he hadn't finished.

Thinking this was such nice change of scenery, Severus encouraged the lad to continue.

"Why do you do this, how come you don't take up trade at St. Mungo's?" Afraid the boy said the wrong thing he continued hurriedly. "It's that you could give Madam Pomfrey and the healers a run for their money. Seems that might be more profitable. That's all, no insult to the Dark Lord, but why?"

_Nerve and guts! The boy was nearly treasonous._ A smug smile fought for dominion over Severus' mouth. "I take pride in the job, what are golden galleons to me." And to Severus' mind this was true, he was none the less incandescent with pleasure.

Snape set his tray aside and stood. Expecting Pavel to follow him over to his case. Opening it revealing a wide assortment of jars, bottles and boxes. "If putting witches and wizards back together is something you wish to choose as a vocation, you must first learn the ingredients." Ticking off on his slender fingers, "what they look like, what their uses are, and where to find them." Raising a flat hand in emphasis. "Then and only then can you begin to learn how to combine them for the best affect. It is simple."

The fading light seeping through cracks in the drapes spurred Severus out the door. "Pavel, did you say?" The young man nodded. "Take this dittany." Handing Pavel a box. "Dittany has healing properties; administer by mouth in a tea if the injury is internal, administer as a poultice, if superficial. And," he raised a finger. "This," handing a large blue bottle to him, "is a calming draft. Many of them nearly lost there lives today, once they wake up screaming from terror, it will be the only thing to get them to stop. It's not for pain but for fear." Young Pavel nodded. "How much of the calming draft are you to give them?"

"Dessertspoonful, Sir." Severus patted the lad on the shoulder and left.


	19. Chapter 16 Heaving in Hogsmeade

-=By Snape, JKR knows how to write a good character.=-

**Old Friend**

**Heaving in Hogsmeade**

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Pain racked his body. Severus groaned. "Well, get up you worthless, lazy, whiny baby." He admonishes himself. _At least the pain would subside as the day went on. The Dark Lord hadn't been pleased._

_The hungry look on Malfoy's face was still irritating him._ The loathsome enjoyment Malfoy displayed brought back unpleasant memories of the sexual hazing from his Slytherin days, and later his punishment for his attention given to Her. He tried not to consider the matter too closely but perhaps he might have done better in Gryffindor. No, he wouldn't have been surprised to find out that Black had the same tastes. "Better the Devil you know, than the Devil you don't."

The taproom at the Hogs Head Inn was as yeasty as ever. Severus hoped Dumbledore would see him on such short notice.

As soon as he reached Hogsmeade he owled Albus to mention he'd be in the area, and to request a meeting. _No reply yet, but there was still time,_ he thought comfortably. "Firewhiskey, lots of it." Severus said to the barkeep when the man came to the table. _My rectum is just that, wrecked._ Severus thought painfully as he sat. He had supposed that the Dark Lord had to up the ante, mutilation simply didn't appear to be enough, anymore. He looked up at the clinking sound, thinking it was the barman.

_Uh._ Severus thought as this gaudy bespectacled woman slid in next to him. She offered her hand, Severus was weary of taking it, but took it nonetheless. "My name is Sybil Trelawney. Fate has brought me to you, I sense your discomfort. But the future seems so to those who lack the Sight. Cassandra Trelawney, is my great-great grandmother." Severus holds up a hand to her.

"Where's my fire whisky," Snape hollered to the barkeep, who promptly brought it. "You were saying."

"I would like to offer you a glimpse into the future." Sybil moved in close, Severus knew desire well enough.

"My dear woman, I have little more than a couple of galleons to my name. I expect the miserable barkeep will want his share. Alas, haven't funding to buy your skill." Severus thought that might put her off, however it didn't. As piqued as his interest was, not just of his future but of other closely related parties, he might just venture...? "Do you have a room Madam?" Severus asked succinctly. Sybil took his meaning well enough.

Her voice rose in a swell, "yes! I have." The glasses made her large eyes larger still, but Severus thought they might just roll out of her head. Grabbing his bottle and glass, he hastened Sybil toward her room. For further encouragement he ran a covert finger up of her leg. She looked back shyly as she opened her door.

The room would have been shabby even if it hadn't been strung with shawls and glittering scarves. "Lovely," he murmured. "Shall I share my skill first or would you prefer to begin?" Severus asked silkily.

"If you be so kind." She gestured to the bed. He figured she would want him to go first. Removing his coat and unbuttoning his shirt collar, did not remove it. Laying on his side lazily unbuttoning the double row of buttons on his trousers' flap. She gathered her voluminous skirts lifting them to clamber on to the bed. She lay beside him spoon fashion. Running a hand from her ankle to the top of her hip, Severus lifted her skirts. He stoked her hair gently in an attempt to _cage the damn stuff._ When her neck became visible he kissed it breathing deeply. She made whimpering moaning noises, _but again that might be her usual,_ he couldn't tell.

This method of foreplay was working in terms of desired effect, however Snape was having a difficult time keeping her hair from choking him. In mock passion he came upright on his knees, pulled out his ready endowment. Leaning forward just enough to kiss the inside of her knees and likewise brush the skin of her inner thighs with his sex.

Making a circuit with his glans he matched Sybil's' excitement in tone. She panted in a low ragged whisper, "now." Severus thrust into her, she panted still more insistently. "Yes," she said, "please," she said.

It had occurred to him, somewhat belatedly, that _either she was more deprived than he was or else, she really did fancy him._ He had to regain his focus quickly or he'd lose his erection. He was starting to lose his balance with the controlled focus, so he leaned over her on all fours pumping as her vocal encouragement continued.

Finally she let out a final cry and shuddered. Severus was panting and sweating by then too, though his was from the exercise. She sat up very quickly, poked him in the eye with her glasses and kissed him smartly on the lips. _This better be worth it._ Severus hoped. Ready to move on to his future, he tucked his abused member away, straightened his attire and addressed Sybil. "Madam Trelawney, I hope my was skill was equal to the task."

"OooooohH, yessss! Thank you, I say. Yes, quiet good. I will be a moment in refreshing myself and clearing my mind of distraction, feel free to do likewise.

To Snape's mind this spelled out _FIRE WHISKY!,_ in flaming letters. One drink downed, and one ready, he would relax soon enough.

Sybil, spread her arms, so she resembled a bejewelled bird, prehistoric and crude. Swooping in she kissed Severus again on the mouth. "If you will set that aside," pointing to Snape's whisky tumbler, "we will now begin, while you drink this tea I will read your palm. Give me you left hand. We will gaze into the future." She coughed to clear her throat. "Your long slender fingers indicate that you are very studious and analytical, as your fingers are approximately the same length as your palm maybe a little philosophic." Sybil pointed authoritatively at the centre of his palm. "You see here, the lines of your heart, head and life are very faint, this tells us that you do not invest much in yourself. This maybe be indicated by spartan living, you do not regularly seek commerce for pleasure, and likely you do not console yourself."

"I've nearly finished the tea." Severus said rather dryly, hoping that the tasseography would be more fruitful.

"Yes, onward and upward as they say," Trelawney quavered. "Now, swirl the cup round three times with a clear mind." He did as instructed. She took the cup from him and emptied the contents into the saucer. Setting the saucer on the bed she carefully turned the plain white china. "I see a fish with an arched back; this indicates the opportunity to teach may soon open." Severus let out an audible sigh. "By chance are you here to see Professor Dumbledore about a post?" Cocking her head to the side she looked at him intently.

"Why yes, as a matter of fact I am, though I don't yet have an appointment." Snape answered bemused.

Excitedly Sybil pronounced, "this may be your lucky opportunity! I am as well, Divination, as a matter of fact. We might be colleagues." Sybil was much cheered by the thought and said so. Gazing back into the saucer, she turned it. Now pointing at what looked like a wall to him. "This is a rectangle which shows some difficulty or encumbrance. Since it is closest to the fish, we can thereby assume that it is related to your upcoming teaching post." She looked at him with a somewhat mournful expression. Patting his upper thigh she said, "I do hope you get it." She pursed her lips and turned the saucer once more. "See this, this is unusual, this appears to be a frog leg with only three toes. Very strange, you know frogs have four toes. I must conclude that in some point in the near future your life will be somewhat amphibious, sort of two separate lives, with a part of you missing." Meeting Trelawney's eyes, he tried to look impassive, the reading was getting too close for comfort. "The leg you see here, extends nearly to the centre, so that means that this amphibious life is for the foreseeable future." Turning the little plate further, "facing the frog leg is a rabbit in mid jump. This shows that you will need to be brave in your duality. I do not see anything else, I hope it has been as beneficial to you, as you have been to me."

Severus' lips could barely move, but he managed a quiet, "thank you." He stood, grabbed his bottle and glass and went back to the taproom. Severus Snape sat in a little alcove, to insure privacy. So, befuddled by her conjuration he just wanted to get as drunk as fast as possible. He was nearly ready to leave, when the Hogs Head traffic picked up, _they were a noisy lot._ "Professor," he whispered to himself.

Gathering his wits about him, he watched the man's movement. Completely forgetting about the tea leaves when Snape watched Professor Dumbledore march up the stairs to...Sybil's room. He knocked twice and the door swung in. _Perhaps she might mention me, I hope she doesn't mention the barter._ Somewhat shocked at his behaviour he downed the very last of the firewhiskey. Snape scurried to the staircase and mounted it slowly. Though the barman had noticed, he was too busy to stop at that moment to find out what was afoot.

Severus inched closer to the door, _the voice inside the room was hoarse, it sounded like neither of the occupants, surely there can't have been a third._ Listening still closer, he finally recognized it for what it was. "The Dark Lord?" He thought he had whispered it to himself, but his voice modulation was none so great.

"Where's your arras, rat?" Said a full bodied, gruff voice. Blind panic flooded Severus' senses. The barman swung the door open holding Snape by the scruff of the neck, "this here rat was skulking out here." The barman shook Severus roughly.

"Ah, sorry had too much to drink, couldn't...went the wrong way." Breathy from shock he appeared quite confused.

In the Professor's calm tenor, "I am not ready to see you today Mr. Snape. Perhaps another time, shall I?" Severus jerked a nod at Albus.

Trelawney's voice joined in, "the tea leaves, remember the tea leaves."

The barman physically expelled Snape from the premises.

"An', don't come back." Bellowed the barkeeper just before he slammed the door.

Severus staggered and fell. "Damn!" He sat there for a while debating the wisdom of administering a sobering draft. Decided against it and used the building for support to stand. He turned on the spot apparating to the Dark Lord.


	20. Chapter 17 Reflections on Paper

**-=Canon may be done, but fanfiction will live on.=-**

**Old Friend**

**Reflections on Paper**

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The box unfurled with a flick of her wand. Item after item she conducted to their newly assigned home. At the bottom of the box was her Old Friend. Lily looked mournfully on the roughed up moleskin diary.

James entered the sitting room as Lily repaired the pages, and removed the hateful inscriptions. "You know Lil' if you repair it, you'll never be able to bin it." James' words were innocuous enough even if his tone was not.

"I know you are not sentimental, so I don't except you to understand, please let me be." Lily carried the diary with her to the kitchen, palming it while making tea. Tea in hand Lily took refuge in the baby's room.

Patting the energetic bulge, "your daddy gave this to me. It was a constant companion for many years. That's the beauty of a diary, little baby. A diary will never judge you, it will never turn a cold shoulder on you. It is absolutely impartial. True, a diary cannot properly advise you; but that's not really a loss since you don't really want advise. This particular diary is filled in it's entirety, margins too. Your dad worked very hard to afford it. When people say it's the thought that counts, they're right you know. When he first gave it to me, I didn't really understand that it was something I really needed. Maybe he saw that in me; the need to put my thoughts down on paper." Lily laughed at herself.

"Baby, listen to me going on and on. You must think I'm a terribly sentimental fool. I am, no help for it I'm afraid. James would bin it if I turned my back for a moment. The thought terrifies me to no end. Sometimes James can't see past the tip of his plain little nose. I hope you on the other hand have a nose like your father. If James ever tries anything funny, with regard to my Old Friend, the result wouldn't be good. I just hope respect tempers his Gryffindor sensibilities. Gryffindor sensibilities, what an oxymoron." Massaging the rolling and shifting mound. "I love you baby. Perhaps if I still kept a diary, I might not have made some serious mistakes in recent months. No, baby you weren't a mistake." She smiled wistfully. "You were made from love, old love, the best love."


	21. Chapter 18 Four Inches of Slush

**-=I didn't create the characters, I only make them misbehave.=-**

**Old Friend**

**Four Inches of Slush**

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The halls were still decked with holly, Wizarding Wireless belted out enthusiastic cheer and owls brought eager correspondence. Even though they were steadily approaching St. Stephen's Day, Lily though Christmas would never end. Pudgy little Harry Bear looked nothing so much as a turtle turned over on his back, trying to right himself. _Must have rolled over. Poor dear._ James was out, so she decided to go down to sweet old Bathilda's for a nice sit. She enjoyed Harry so much. Smiling to herself, she gathered him, bundling up they set off.

Godric's Hollow was peaceful. Still she would have preferred crunchy snow to four inches of wet slush. Lily and Harry hadn't even reached the door before Mrs. Bagshot opened in greeting.

"Lily, lass come inside. It's dreadful out there," taking Harry from Lily they went in. Bathilda began wrestling little man from hid wrappings, she squinted closely at Harry. "I can't get over how much he looks like James."

Bathilda was cooing to Harry and didn't see Lily's discomposure. _It's the thing people always said_, she thought grimly. Trying to change the subject, Lily asked. "Do you remember when Harry was first born and he had a thick baby fuzzy from head to toe?"

"Aye, I do. Gave James a start, I think. And you said that 'it was sweet.' He looked like a wee teddy bear. Aye I remember, you know it almost seemed like it saddened you to see it go. Though that is silly, unless you want everyone to think he was Mr. Hagrid's baby." Bathilda cackled at her own joke. "Oh!" Bathilda said with surprise. "I've forgotten the tea things, here you go," handing the round smiling child to Lily.

Once they were equipped with tea and biscuits. They chatted about the up coming revisions to "History of Magic." Lily thought, history was a wonderful subject; she thought a little ruefully that Harry would be more like Severus in his views, given Harry's level of fussiness throughout the discussion.

"Ah, I don't think Harry's going to be a History Professor. Ah well. I always thought Professor Binns excellent with the facts, maybe not so much with the passion." They both laughed at Bathilda's acuity.

"On a related subject. You have great experience with artefacts and the like, I received something recently, well Harry did really. I think I understand it's nature but help me I don't know what it is. Could you maybe take a look at it, if it's not too much trouble?" Lily pulled out a tiny squashed package, handing it to the old woman.

She put on her thick reading glasses, "oh!"

_Not what Bathilda had been expecting obviously._ Lily considered.

Mrs. Bagshot turned to disk and cord over, reaching for her wand. Jabbing the wand at it on both sides, she gave a grunt of satisfaction. Handing the amulet back to Lily, she took her glasses off. "Who sent it?" Lily was taken aback for a moment. To assuage Lily's startled look. "It's for protection, I'm sure you could tell as much. However it seems to have concealing quality, but there doesn't seem to be any indication of origin. It is handsome, perhaps you should hang it in his room. Certainly if he bites into it, he'll break a tooth."

"Thank you Mrs. Bagshot. I'm sorry but I've got to run, James will be wanting his dinner." Lily bundled up Harry bid farewell to Mrs. Bagshot and met the cold with brisk efficiency.

Back home she picked up the discarded wrapping from the gift and read the tiny black printing, "Enusap S Evers, and nothing else." It hadn't taken her any time to decode the jumble of letters. "Sev." The word felt numb on her lips.

~*~

FIN

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AN/ Thank you everyone, your encouragment pushes me and focuses my effort. Hope you enjoyed Old Friend, if you enjoyed my portrayal of Snape then you may like Giving Hermione the Mickey (the story is rated M and has disclaimers).


	22. Chapter 19 The End

**Harry Potter and company belong to J.K. Rowling and associated entities. I only own my plot.**

**Old Friend**

**The End**

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-!-

Winter blew itself mad well into the beginning of April. Spring sopped and splattered. Summer hadn't brought solace, to those who were perpetually preoccupied. The spider wart bloomed, shed the purple remnants then blooming again until it finally exhausted itself in late September. October greeted the West Country with gorgeous fall hues. Lily and James had been suffering through long bouts of passive aggressive silence. Lily seemed to be missing something of herself in these long stretches of loneliness. James had made her chuck the diary but not before she salvaged a swatch of the soft leather. If she shifted her foot just right, she could feel it rubbing tenderly at her arch. The loneliness was becoming an increasing problem, there were no more safe places as October drug on.

All Hallows came, Lily carved a miniature pumpkin for Harry and placed a candle inside. They couldn't go out, how Lily desperately wanted to take a walked or something. Lily needed to be around people, Peter, Remus and Sirius dropped by occasionally. It wasn't really what she needed though. They were always caught up in wizards chess, or arguing over the wisdom of hunting You-Know-Who down and "sticking it to him," as Sirius so elegantly put it, The later would usually lead to an over loud discussion which invariably woke Harry.

Lily tried to put bothersome things out of her mind while James played with Harry. The sneak-o-scope whirred and lit up. "Lily, take Harry." Nearly tossing the toddler into Lily's deft hands who ran.

The little cottage never experienced so many feelings as it had in those three fatal minutes. Sorrow from the loss of James, the fear that saturated everything, remorse that Severus will never know his son, hatred of the force of destruction looking blandly over his wand at the protecting mother, and then nothing.

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**The End!**

**Thank you everyone for your kind attention. I hope you have enjoyed reading.**


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